<Pu'er Greenwood>

{A DEMON HAS TRIPPED ON YOUR MINE}

“Pu’er, what are you trying to pull?”

“Avner, why aren’t you looking at me?”

Why? You like me don’t you?

Everytime I look at you, you would turn away without even trying to meet my eyes. You’re purposely avoiding me.

“All this time, you’ve been trying to avoid me, haven't you?”

“What? No.”

Liar. You’re an absolut liar!

“Then why? You don’t even look at me anymore.”

“What do you even mean by that?”

He stared at me with stern eyes. There wasn’t even any confusion in his words, just a straight question.

Had I mistaken him all this time?

That his reply that night..

“Pu’er. You’re probably misunderstanding…”

Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

I released the mine and stumbled.

I fell into his arms, my face burned.

I pushed him away, he dropped onto his chair, scratching the floor.

Why was I so dumb? I should’ve noticed since that day.

I turned around and grabbed my bag.

He never liked me to begin with.

It was all some made up delusion.

===

My heart hurts. It hurts.

Why Avner? Why did you change?

You were obviously showing signs of interest, so why?

…

No. I’ve been deluding myself. All this time, I’ve been making up things. It’s my fault.

He only borrowed my notes, nothing else.

He never initiated anything.

He only cared about me because he knew I was an angel.

It was all a big, big misunderstanding.

I’m such a big fat dummy.

It’s so unfair.

Why don’t I remember what he said that night?

What happened that night?

I want to know.

What your answer was.

I’m scared.

What if he rejects me?

But he already rejected me.

Is there any point holding on?

“But what if he still likes me..”

Or what if he’ll like me in the future..

I brought up the golden interface.

This thing.

It was this that changed him.

Did he even like me in the first place?

Ugh..

I beat my fist on my pillow.

Repeatedly.

Gritting my teeth.

Tears began to fall and I buried my face into my pillow.

It hurts. Heartbreak hurts!!

I can’t. I can’t take this.

Avner, do you like me or not?

Please just tell me.

Tell me!

I have to tell him to tell me!

Rather than sitting around being tormented like this.

I even have to prepare for the exams next week.

I can’t focus on my studies anymore.

Why did I notice it at this sort of time? Why not some other time? Why? Why? Why?!

===

“What happened, Pu’er?”

Brunette could tell at a single huh?

I peek at Avner, he was also taking note of me. My heart jumped.

Don’t look at me like that, you dummy! Don’t try to make me think you like me again if you obviously don’t!

“Is it about him?”

“Brunette. Do you think he likes me?”

“You’re asking me this question? I thought you confessed to him last time? What response did he give you? You don’t remember.”

“I don’t. I don’t know why I don’t.”

I slammed my head into my folded arms on the table.

I know why I don’t. It’s because I was reawakened as an angel at that exact moment! It’s as if the world is trying to cause problems for me. It’s so unfair. I hate you!

It still hurts.

I need to know.

Does he like me.. or not.

If he likes me then everything will be solved.

If he doesn’t like me then..

I want to know why.

I still can’t believe he didn’t take interest in me before. I clearly remember those eyes. He became an entirely different person the moment he realized that he was a demon.

“Pu’er, don’t be sad.”

Then don’t poke me!

===

The entire week was hell.

My heart hasn’t settled. It still hurts. I don’t know why I keep trying to convince myself that Avner likes me when he clearly doesn’t.

He didn’t even come to ask how I was. He just sat there, drawing his whatever.

Today we’ll have to go to Cain’s office again. It’s going to be so awkward. Maybe he’ll just leave me alone.

“Pu’er. Let’s go.”

He beat all my expectations. Stop trying to make me yearn for you!

I notice Ares and Brunette look at us like what’s going on? I don’t even know.

I feel like Avner is toying with me. What kind of person toys with another person’s emotions anyways? Did you think it’s fun to be me? Do you even know how much it hurts?

“Pu’er.”

“What?”

“I’ll tell you the truth of what happened that night. After the exam, next Friday, there’s still some time left before we are released from school.”

Oh, so now you’re going to confess to me? Why couldn’t you have said it earlier? And you’re even telling me to even wait till next Friday? I’ll die from stress you know?!

===

I learnt a new truth today.

I can die if I’m not careful.

Maybe that’s why Avner doesn’t want to be with me? Maybe it’s because he’s a demon, and can’t trust me?

No, that can’t be it. There has to be something..

[Pu’er, do you feel like writing a blog today?]

“I have to write.. I can’t keep skipping..”

I skipped yesterday’s session because I really just wasn’t in the mood. With the exams coming, I can’t think straight. Trying to come up with something to write in this sort of pressure is impossible.

But I have to do it today because I missed doing it yesterday.

What should I write?

Something.. and idea..

2.21.

“So, what’s the result of the trade?”

“It’s not like we’ll see the return overnight, you know.”

“I want to know the result.”

“What result do you even want?”

“The update on that crypto you bought. Has it gone up? Or is it still down?”

“I’ve said time and time again, it’s not going to go up so soon. Just hold it and see.”

“How long will we continue to hold it then?”

“I plan to hold it for another year, just one more year.”

“What if the price continues to drop from there? What will you do then? Call it a loss?”

“It’s my own money, so why do you even bother?”

“Of course I bother. It’s your money, I don’t want to see you keep throwing your money away like that. It’s gambling.”

“Fine, whatever you say. Gambling, gambling. I told you to trust me already.”

I ate my food, making sure my eyes didn't leave the plate in front of me.

There’s no point trying to stop them anymore. There’s just no way to find peace in the family.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just want to know what your plan is so that I can budget.”

“I already told you, didn't I? It’s still down. Give me one year.”

“So then we count this one as a loss.”

“It’s not a loss yet. I can try to pull some out to some other trades if there’s any potential in them.”

That’s gambling.

I don’t know enough about the world of investing, but investing in NFTs, crypto or contract holdings. It’s especially bad in these times when there’s a downturn in the economy.

I also don’t know why my mom invests in these kinds of things.

I actually agree with aei. She should just stop trying to bet. I heard she put in a hundred thousand more in that crypto because she thinks it has potential to continue rising. Was this why they always complain about the lack of money?

If she pulls out now, she’ll be able to limit her loss. But if the crypto price actually rises, we would make a loss.

Better just stop trying to care.

It’s too late to save this family anyways.

I finished my meal and took my plate to the kitchen.

“Pu’er! Are you so blind to not see the other plates? Next time I’ll not cook your portion, is that how it is?”

“Why are you shouting at hir?! What did xe even do?!”

In silence, I turned back and picked up the plates and utensils from the turntable. Then returned to the kitchen where I began mindlessly sponging away at the plates.

I feel numb.

So numb.

I don’t even feel anything anymore.

Just stop.

Please.

Stop.

===

It finally came Friday.

I gazed out to the sky through the window from where I sat. It was a nice sunny day. Avner told me to meet him on the roof during lunch break.

Will he pick me up or will I have to go find him?

There was no class the entire day, the teachers only came in to take our attendance and chat around.

It was such a crazy week.

I was supposed to feel relieved that the exam was finally over yesterday.

Yet..

The pit of my stomach only grew as time passed.

What will Avner say?

I’m scared.

What if he actually doesn’t like me?

What will I do after that? I don’t know what else to do.

These thoughts occupied my mind. Brunette and Julien tried to talk to me, I was glad they were concerned about my situation. But I knew there was no way they could help me. I had to solve this myself.

Cailly, who was supposed to be with them, was absent today. Maybe xe thought there’s no point coming anymore.

How blessed they are to have a peaceful family to return to. I have to always live in fear. You never know when my parents will have their next argument. These days, I feel like their miasma gauge is going to explode.

Ring! Ring! Ring!

“Thank you class.”

“””THANK YOU TEACHER.”””

It was finally lunch break.

“Pu’er.”

“Alright.”

I followed behind him.

“Do you want to get your food first?”

“I already have bread.”

“Then wait for me for a bit. I’ll go get something.”

I nodded and decided to part ways. I’ll head to the roof first.

“Do you need me to get something for you?”

“No need.”

===

I sat on the bench, staring towards the cityscape just beyond the school gates. Compared to the surrounding buildings, the school is like a flat U-shape structure amidst the tall skyscrapers. The mismatched one.

Oh, and there goes a train whizzing by.

“Here.”

“Don’t need it.”

Why did you even buy me a drink?

“You’re alright with this place?”

“What do you want to tell me. Just make it quick.”

“I’ve thought about it for quite some time. How I should really answer you.”

Was it that difficult to come up with an answer? Oh, right. It’s difficult to reject someone.

“In short, I’m sorry. I can’t reciprocate your feelings.”

Ah. Yes. Just what I needed.

Your honest answers.

“Avner would’ve accepted it.”

“Of course he would have.”

I stood up.

“I’m not done.”

“What else do you have to say? You already told me everything I need to know right?!”

I began to shout. Oh.. crap.

I can’t contain my emotions. Just let me go, I’m going to cry. I have to cry.

My heart hurts.

I turned around and left– he grabbed my shoulders. I felt an electric current run up my spine and a chill in my empty, heavy heart.

“That night. The one who attacked me was you.”

“W-What are you even saying..”

“You have another you inside you. The you from your previous life is still alive. The reason why you don’t remember anything back then, or how you even got out of your apartment. It’s because of Pu’er Julis. Your previous self, that’s dwelling inside of you, whether or not you’re aware of it.”

He finally let go.

“I’m sorry. If you like, we can still be friends. I just can’t accept your feeling.”

Ha.. hahahaha..

I should’ve expected this.

Why didn’t he tell me earlier?

Things could’ve been so simple.

I wouldn’t have needed to create so many false hopes. Come up with so many excuses.

[My condolences, Pu’er.]

Even an AI couldn’t predict accurately if a person is in love with another.

How deplorable.

I turned around.

He was shielding himself from feeling, looking at me with those indifferent eyes. But I can tell very well. He too was affected by this.

“I hate you.”

2.22.

<Avner Cross>

“I hate you.”

I stood there, watching xe leave before my eyes.

I heaved a sigh.

That was intense. I didn’t know rejecting someone was this brutal, my heart hurts.

I turned to the park bench and saw the drink I bought still sitting there, untouched.

Damn it.

Why does it feel so wrong?

I’m Shin, I’m Avner.

Avner loves Pu’er; Shin does not.

Who the hell am I?

I’m so confused.

There’s so much more I wanted to tell hir.

About hirs past with Shin.

About my identity as a person from another world.

Whatever. At least xe got the message clearly.

I can’t accept hirs feelings.

Xe will have to bear through the pain. It’ll sting for some time. Eventually xe’ll realize that it’s not such a big deal to be rejected. We’re only high school students. There’s still a long way to go in life.

I don’t get it, why do I feel like a third person advising Shin and Avner? I’m clearly their combined average, aren’t I?

“Novelle, I’ll make sure you’ll pay for this.”

I rejected someone for your sake.

===

“Avner, Lia, you’ve probably heard about the move we’re considering,” my father started, “I want your opinion on it.”

“We’ve decided to move you two to a private school over there. You’ll have to get used to the new language and make new friends.”

“I need your input. Your grandmother is sick and needs someone to take care of her.”

My mother’s mother is suffering from cancer.

I’m not sure what cancer she’s suffering from. So I can't draw any predictions on whether or not the type can be treated using the current technology.

My biggest concern here is, what if next year, Novelle was among the characters in Saint High? If I went to Rwiel, I would miss my chance to meet her.

On the other hand, what if Novelle wasn’t among the characters of Saint High?

There’s only one best option here.

“Is it alright if I stay here? I actually don’t want to move.”

“See, it’s not so easy.”

“I understand it’s not easy for the children to move, but they have to learn eventually, right?”

“How about I stay back? I can take care of them while you two stay there to take care of mother-in-law.”

Father made a troubled expression at aether’s suggestion. He doesn’t want to part with hir.

“Avner, just go?”

Lia tugged at my shirt.

I shook my head.

I’ll be stubborn, I’ll be obstinate.

For Novelle.

“I have another suggestion, maybe I can leave him to my mother’s place,” father said.

“Then how about Lia?”

“Lia, do you want to join us? Or do you want to stay?”

Lia looked between our parents and me. Xe’s eyebrows were scrunched.

“Avner, why do you not want to leave?”

“I don’t want to.”

“It’s probably your elfriend.”

“That elf again.”

Aether and mom sighed at the same time.

“We understand, we understand.”

You do know that I broke up with Pu’er right? I did it just this afternoon, the aftertaste isn’t pleasant, I’ll tell you.

“Big bro, don’t you want to explore other countries? I thought you said you rejected hir already?”

“I did.”

“Huh? So why?”

“I don’t want to trouble myself by going to other schools. The language barrier is going to be a big issue. I'm sorry.”

Besides this common English, I don’t recognize most other languages. There are a few familiar ones like Korean and Chinese. Languages like Thai, Japanese, Indonesian, German, and Russian don't exist, replaced by some alien language.

For a story like <Cookie Cult>, the nonexistence of the Japanese language is just weird.

“The private school uses English as the main language, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

How did the original Avner from <Cookie Cult> even convince them? Did he throw a tantrum?

“Sorry. I don’t want to.”

Everyone was in agreement with the move except me. I was causing a problem to the family.

“Then how about we just leave Avner to your parents as you suggest dear. He should be grown up enough to be responsible for himself, right?”

“What do you think?”

“If he’s fine with it.”

“Big bro..”

“Thank you aether, thank you father, thank you mom. I’ll take up that suggestion. I don’t mind living with grandma and grandoa,” I lowered my head.

“What kind of country are you even living in, bowing like that.”

“I’m only trying to be sincere.”

Okay. That’s relieving.

By some luck or fate, my wish was granted. Looks like I’ll be moving to grandma and grandoa’s apartment.

Just as in the original story.

Probably.

===

This would mark the final week of school. There wasn’t anything left to do besides fooling around. I could’ve joined the 25 percent of my class and go AWOL. But because my etler still had class, not going to school was not an option.

I spent the majority of the time working on my art portfolio. I’ve already received the money from my previous commission. Around a thousand dollars.

It’s calming to not have anything to do except draw.

“Hey.”

“Morning Ares, what’s up?”

And sometimes I would have to attend to my friends.

Shin is a loner, a true loner who only did work. I’m sure that habit of his is crossing over into the me of this life.

He wasn’t the kind of person particularly attentive of his surroundings. If anything, the only people he knew were those from his family and Novelle’s.

Correction: only Novelle’s family.

And it was also why I covet Novelle so much. She’s as much a part of Shin’s life as mine.

“Did you seriously just reject hir?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you..”

“I rejected hir Ares, that’s all there is to it. I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

Perhaps things might change when Avner regains his memories.

If somehow there’s a secret memory vault of Avner’s life with Pu’er, I might just regret my decision. I don’t know.

“Why?”

“Why?”

“No, I mean.. why did you reject hir?” Ares glanced towards Pu’er who was opening up to the other classmates which xe usually didn’t.

Pu’er was doing well.

Faking the fact that xe was doing well.

“I don’t like hir.”

“What? You told me very clearly at the beginning of this year that you liked hir? What happened man?!”

“Things changed. Ares. Things change.”

I’m sorry for being insensitive. I can’t possibly accept a role I can’t manage.

You don’t just accept a girl, in this case, an elf, just because xe’s cute and kind. In love, there are many other factors which one would have to take into consideration.

That was what Novelle told me, told Shin, at least.

===

dotturndot: Y’ouch. Pu’er’s got it hard. Anyone hating Avner yet?