“I want 3 kilos of this.”

I joined DaHong-san on a morning trip to the wet market.

DaHong-san, from what I knew, was an orphan. Everything from the restaurant, to his cooking skills were things he received from Rize-chan. So to an extent, he probably knew her better than I did.

His chocolate coloured hair was just a shade lighter than Rize-chan’s. He had light-brown skin, like a tan, and quite the squarish face. His build was also quite large, as in fat, not muscle.

“EiYun-chan, help me with this.”

“O-Oh.”

Startled from being lost in thought, I took the package of prawns from him. It was wrapped in calcium paper.

I placed it inside the large cold box attached to the industrial transport cart. We weren’t halfway through the busy market and the mobile fridge was already reaching its limit.

DaHong-san paid the fishmonger and proceeded to survey for other ingredients. I pushed the cart, following behind him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

It wasn’t because of a lack of consideration. It was because of his consideration that I was pushing the cart alone.

I don’t want to be a piece of standing baggage, distracting him from his usual routine.

I listened to his instructions carefully.

“The cart can’t climb the stairs. We’ll take the sloping bridge there instead.”

“Okay.”

The market was interesting as it was colourful. A whole premise within a large building, itself built with individual concrete cubicles where owners displayed their goods. Among ingredients, raw or live, there were also little articles like woven baskets, toys, and clothes.

There was nothing about the place that resembled a battlefield, but it reminded me of one. Because of the familiar scent of dead fish.

“Did you know that Rize-chan is attracted to girls?”

DaHong-san’s sudden question pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Uh?”

“She’s lesbian.”

She’s lesbian?

“That’s what I think at least.”

What do you mean she’s lesbian?

Is there a reason I need to know such an arbitrary… hold on.

“You get what I mean?”

He looked at me with one brow arched upwards.

“Y-Yeah…?”

“No idea what my boss is thinking, but just telling you something that you might have to consider the next time you interact with her.”

I think… I was getting his point.

If it was true that Rize-chan was into ‘that’, then the real reason behind why she saved me was… no. Impossible.

-☆▫.-▫.｡.:* ▫⌎.☆\*: .｡ ▫.-

⌏▫☆ Hwang Eunha◆▫. ¸

⁛ Origin Year 138, 19th of Yǔ.

I rose from the bed with this tight feeling sticking to my chest.

Without needing to rush towards the closet to put on my uniform. or perform roll call, this once useful urge during critical times had become something I hated in normal day to day life.

Dread. Anxiety.

I took in a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself… I was shivering, the breaths I let out were frosty.

I was wasting time.

People are dying out there, and I’m here enjoying this uncertain peace.

Ironic. I was supposed to die.

Quickly, I needed to recover and find my own method of helping humanity. I can’t just continue to dabble around like this.

I’m useless.

Attempts to calm the erratic thoughts made things worse. It was incorrigible.

I searched for Rize-chan in the darkness. She was still sleeping on the other futon, her back facing towards me. Seeing her sleeping so soundly, a different kind of thought sliced through the murky darkness.

Why is she always so calm? Does she even feel anxious on the battlefield?

“Mom…”

I shook her shoulders.

She groaned a few times before turning to me with half-open eyes.

“…What is it Eun-chan?”

“C-Can you use that magic to calm me down?”

“Again?”

Yes. Again.

I’m such a burden.

Yeah. I’m such a useless being.

I had cleared the first hurdle, which was to not die.

But that was just one hurdle.

The second hurdle was just as difficult, if not more.

Overcoming myself.

Simply being aware of the issue wasn’t enough to resolve the problem.

Because I was truly incapable of doing anything alone.

“Lie down.”

I did as she commanded. She grabbed my head and buried it into her shoulder.

“Good night.”

And fell back asleep.

I wasn’t sure if she had used her magic, but the thoughts that gnawed at me ceased almost immediately. Her smell and warmth—she was like a hot sweet potato that warmed my body.

I began to feel sleepy once more, clinging to her I shut my eyes and…

‘She’s lesbian.’

My body jolted and I fled from her arm.

Backed against the wall, I stared in horror at the girl whom I called mom. Sleeping without a care in the world, she didn’t even wake up when I pushed her.

Just, just… w-what the hell was happening to me? DaHong-san… had to be joking right? Did Rize-chan really swing that way? Then what does that make of me who just begged her for comfort?

I-I… seriously don’t harbour any of that sort of feeling towards her. I’m simply…

Simply using her for your own selfishness.

I bit my lips.

Right. In the end, I was only considering myself.

“Why…”

Why indeed.

Useless.

¸☆▫.-⌎.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*

The arrival of morning didn’t take too long as I toiled in my bed for an hour longer.

“Morning.”

“…Morning.”

I tried to greet her.

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better…”

“Just so you know, you can just hug me next time if you feel completely wrecked. I’m totally cool with it.”

Two girls hugging made sense. But to do so in the bedroom obviously implied something different… she was giving me permission to ‘cross the line’.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me.

“…Are you sure you’re alright?”

Eh, uh…!

“I’m fine! I’m fine! Just thinking about something…”

Tell me it’s a lie.

She can’t be looking at me that way right? Oh God, please tell me this whole thing is a lie!

“Mn. You can’t fool me. If you have anything you want to say, just tell me, I’m ready to listen.”

With nothing more to add, we got ready to start our day’s routine.

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

Wake up in the morning, change into casual clothes and make a few laps around the block with Rize-chan.

Occasionally we would spar with each other. Like right now.

She blocked my training sword with hers.

Sliding all the way to the base, she diverted the point of my blade and rushed in. Tilting my body backwards, I placed my sword in position to push away her piercing strike.

She lowered her stance and with one hand acting as the pivot on the ground, lifted her body up and sent a kick towards my flank. That which I barely blocked with my sword.

An upward slash came immediately after. I had no idea how she recovered from her position so quickly.

Her style of CQC was unorthodox. More artistic than it was technical.

It was very different from the ones taught in the military. A style of swordplay that took advantage of her small stature… as if she developed it herself.

I think it’s the opposite. She must have lived a pretty hard life.

As I recalled Ms. Chu’s words, the contents of Rize-chan’s journal popped into my mind.

The heavy emotions that were contained within, the thought of it suddenly weighed my heart. And that split thought broke my concentration.

The sword stopped just shy of my neck.

“I win!”

She cheered.

“Rize-chan.”

I called out her name with a shaky voice.

“Yeah?”

She retracted her sword.

“What was your previous life like?”

“Ah? Didn’t you read it from my journal?”

“Yeah but…”

“I know, I know. You’re going to say that reading it is different from hearing it right from my mouth.”

I didn’t deny nor agree.

“I was a lot of things in the past. A barista, a nurse, a sales agent, an entrepreneur…”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“…”

I could feel her gaze. I felt my whole body tremble.

“It’s not something I’m proud of, but I was once a devout cultist.”

“Someone who killed people, dismembered their body parts, made sacrifices out of them, performed rituals, prayed to a God which I later found out was human, those kinds of things.”

…I wasn’t referring to that either.

“I don’t regret it of course. It was a good learning experience.”

I actually wanted to… about…

Sacrificing herself to save an entire world.

Her sins. Her regrets.

What was going through her mind then? The Rize standing before me right now… isn’t the same as the one she wrote of.

To atone.

And…

For whom did she do this all for?

¸☆▫.-⌎.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*

After morning exercise, I would wash up and then proceed to help DaHong-san with early restaurant preparations.

“EiYun-chan, you really don’t need to go out of your way to help us, you know?”

Ms. YiChen said.

“I’m doing it for myself.”

It was the least I could do to not stay useless.

I refilled the utensil containers scattered around the restaurant which were running low.

Even on days when the shop was closed, there was still work to do. Said work being the cleaning of the whole kitchen area. It was something that couldn’t be neglected to maintain food cleanliness and ensure equipment durability.

As the head chef, DaHong-san had a lot of responsibilities. So going to the kitchen was an everyday thing for him.

Just a few days ago, he also took me to the market to buy ingredients for this week’s share. We left with an empty cart and came back with one packed to the absolute brim.

I never once paid any mind to how food was brought to the table before this. So seeing just how much work and effort goes into making good food made me realise that being a militant may not be the hardest occupation out there.

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

To an extent, I knew how to cook. But I was disallowed from helping in the kitchen. So normally, I’d volunteer as the waiter. Today, however, Akane-san needed me. I left the restaurant once it completely opened.

Akane-san was a biologist. Dark red hair, amethyst eyes. She wore glasses just like me, but hers was genuine unlike mine.

Despite her profession, she didn’t shy away from the work of maids like laundry, mopping, and tending to the garden. I found it rather odd. Perhaps because of my upbringing, these little daily life burdens eluded me.

“EiYun-san, do you mine?”

“What is it?”

“Put your hands here, under this machine.”

Akane-san called me to help with whatever experiment she was working on. It was a study on what demonica preferred when deciding on their target.

I was apparently mistaken as a God’s Emissary, so she thinks my special ability had something to do with prana and demonica. Rize-chan told me to just go along with the story.

The first few times, I was told to put my finger near the glass enclosure with the Crazy Koi inside. I found it odd how the demonica’s attention would shift from the koi to me whenever I was present.

It didn’t react to Akane-san, so maybe ‘I’ was something to be studied?

It seemed similar to what the scientists had me do to prove that my prana attracted demonica. They had me fly around to assess its effects.

But, I didn’t know if telling Akane-san about my ability was a good idea. My identity could be revealed if I expose too much.

Once I saw her use a device called the prana galvanometer. From it, she deduced that my body’s natural bioprana emission was 17.3 Joules per second. Compared to the normal koi which had an emission of 12.9 Joules, and a human’s which was near zero, it was a measurable difference.

However, my body’s emission, while denser, dispersed much quicker. 17.3 Joules quickly tapered off to 0 Joules just beyond 0.6 metres. Akane-san said the natural emission of a tuna with the same weight and emission output as I would’ve measured about 11.7 Joules at 1 metre, and only taper off to zero at 10 metres.

It was a dizzying explanation.

With this fact, she tried to take a 20 Joule per second source of prana wave emitter and compete it with my 17.3 Joules per second bioprana.

Under normal circumstances, demonica would choose a denser source of prana over a lighter one. It’s for this fact that demonica are attracted to crystal cores. This meant that the Crazy Koi should’ve gone for the prana emitter however…

The Crazy Koi still frenzied after my finger instead, despite its lower emission. It was only when Akane-san cranked up the prana wave emitter to 33 Joules per second did the Crazy Koi change its target.

It proved that the density of prana alone wasn’t the only factor affecting a demonica’s attention… I then realise that these series of experiments would eventually lead to the root of why I’m so attractive to demonica.

Today, instead of measuring my prana density, she was going to test for the effects of varying energy wave frequencies in relation to the demonica’s preference.

I placed my hands under the scanner.

On one of the monitors, a wave complex was being displayed. I had no idea how to interpret anything about what I was seeing.

“As I thought.”

Akane-san adjusted the knob and froze the frame. After which she began drawing the impression on a graph.

“This machine is actually used to measure the quality of prana crystal samples. It’s called a Variable EMP-wave Diminutive Wavestack Delineator. But in this case, I’m using it to measure your prana waves. This here is your unique bioprana fingerprint. Marine life also creates these kinds of emissions, but yours… I’ve not seen anything like this. It’s still unknown, but I’d like to think this is another reason why the Crazy Koi are much more attracted to you.”

She told me about the wave complex for a normal bioprana reading for marine life. The main difference between that and mine was the amplitude-frequency pattern.

“Hm… what if a demonised fish had a different bioprana reading? I don’t have any data on that.”

Akane-san muttered to herself.

Snap. Snap.

From out of nowhere, Cinnamon flew into the room.

“It’s you again.”

Snap. Snap.

Cinnamon visited the lab like this the previous few days too. We weren’t too surprised. I looked at Akane-san.

“How about we try putting Cinnamon under the EMP-something measuring device?”

“Variable EMP-wave Diminutive Wavestack Delineator.”

Right, whatever that’s called.

Cinnamon, completely aloof to our conversation, was restrained and put on the scale.

“Stay still!”

“Did we… really need to tape him down?”

Being the stubborn turtle it was, it ran away a few times. Akane-san got fed up and taped its shell onto the measuring plate.

Cinnamon’s bioprana wave matched the normal marine profile.

“In a panicked state, but a normal reading”

He was really trying everything in his power to run, his neck moving in and out of its shell. When I attempted to release him, Cinnamon bit my hand once before fleeing the room.

“Ouch…”

“Aye. What a stubborn turtle. Is your finger okay?”

“I’m fine.”

So it became clear to me that my bioprana fingerprint was special.

“I suppose that’s it for today. When I get back to the lab, I’ll measure and see how a demonica compares. Maybe there are clues there.”

Akane-san didn’t want to risk the escape of the Crazy Koi, so she would do the measurements at the lab she worked at where it was safe.

Watching as she fed both the normal and demonised koi, I pondered…

What if a demonica’s bioprana fingerprint turns out to be similar to my own? Does that mean I’m already a demon?

.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*☆▫.-⌎

A medical appointment today for late Ms. Chu’s two children. Today, we had to bring these two cuties to the nearest clinic for their routine checkup.

“Let’s go~ Let’s go~”

“Yay~!”

“Oof… don’t bang my eyes.”

“I owe you for this time, Rize-chan.”

Kim SuBin was in Rize-chan’s arms. Meanwhile, Kim ChaDong was in Kim Hyeon’s.

“SuBin, stop it.”

I said and restrained her small fist which tried to hit Rize-chan. She turned to me.

“Ooh.”

With eyes big and wide. Cute.

While the two were holding onto the children, I held onto their stuff packed in a baby bag. Things like their medical report, certificate identity, and bottles of milk should they need any.

The clinic was about an hour’s walk away. Carrying SuBin and ChaDong, without being able to use the bicycle or any motorised vehicle meant we had to go on foot. Thirty minutes in, I noticed Rize-chan’s legs all wobbly.

“Rize-chan, are you alright?”

“Me? I’m alright. What’s up?”

Rize-chan responded as if I was the one who was vying for her attention.

Ah… she’s playing the role of my mother, isn’t she?

“Um, are you not tired?”

“It’s not a big deal. SuBin isn’t fat, isn’t that right?”

Rize-chan said as she lightly pinched the little girl’s cheeks.

SuBin retaliated by pushing Rize-chan’s hand away, waving her tiny fist. I was reminded of getting hit by those.

“Rize-chan, why not let EiYun-san hold onto SuBin? You must be pretty tired, considering how you’re also a child.”

Kim Hyeon-ssi raised his concern.

“…You say I’m a child. How dare you…”

“…”

Though, Rize-chan seemed offended by the fact.

I get it. You’re a centurion in a child’s body. But is it really a sin to call you a child?

“SuBin, do you want EiYun-san to carry you?”

To her father’s question, SuBin looked between me and Rize-chan.

Then the girl proceeded to reach out towards me.

“Geh.”

Rize-chan looked absolutely shocked. SuBin didn’t even hesitate to give her benefactor up.

“No offence…?”

I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings here… and I’m sure SuBin understands that you’re suffering from having to carry her right? This isn’t a question of which girl she prefers alright? Right?

I carefully took SuBin into my arms and turned the baby bag over to Rize-chan.

The contact of her soft skin.

The warmth of her body in my cradle.

Her bright, wide ocean blue eyes met mine.

Looking just like her.

A fuzzy sensation warmed my heart.

…I’ve always wondered what it would be like to carry little children. To think it’d be so comforting.

Her small fingers traced my cheeks.

“You’re quite the cutie aren’t you SuBin?”

I said unconsciously.

She merely tilted her head. A little less talkative than the last time I carried her. I wonder why?

“So, how is it? It’s the first time holding a dear two-year-old baby, isn’t it Eun-chan?”

“So this is what being a parent feels like?”

It wasn’t my first time but… to think it would be so… fulfilling.

To think I robbed Ms. Chu of such a gratifying experience in life.

“Not exactly. But I suppose it would be one of the upsides. I’m sure Mr. Hyeon knows a whole lot of true parenthood.”

“Huh. You sound as if you’ve been through it yourself.”

Hyeon-ssi snorted.

“I’ve never once been married—”

Rize-chan stuck her tongue out. Why is it that, I wonder…

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

According to what Rize-chan said, the two siblings were lucky that they had no vaccinations pending during this visit.

But unsurprisingly, Rize-chan, who skipped her 10-year-old vaccination, had to receive her’s today.

“She’s receiving her vaccine rather late. Is there any reason for the delay?”

The nurse raised her head from Rize-chan’s medical report and looked right at me.

I had no idea how to respond to her.

“Oh. That’s because I was busy with my military duties.”

“Military duties?”

The nurse glanced at Rize-chan before looking at me bewildered.

“Are you her mother?”

“A-Ah. No, I’m not.”

…It’s the other way around. But it’s not like I can admit…

“Then you’re her guardian? Where are her parents? She’s only twelve, how could you let her work in the military at such an age…”

“Is it a compulsory requirement for a parent to be present as an orphan? Can’t I get my jab?”

Rize-chan looked at the nurse slightly fed up.

“Orphan…?”

The nurse awkwardly checked Rize-chan’s identity card for a second time.

Point to note. 15 years old is considered an adult. However, as an orphan, there is an exemption where they are allowed independent status at the age of 12. Sure enough, the nurse had to apologise for mistaking the situation.

“Still. As a child, you need a legal guardian to serve as a witness… let’s see… it says here the last time you came with Mr. Hai Aki. He’s your guardian during your last visit.”

“Then it can’t be helped. I’ll go ask Mr. Hyeon.”

“And who is this young lady with you? Since she’s your companion, she could sign for the documents…”

“No way. She’s my daughter. I can’t let my daughter sign for this.”

Daughter. Yep, right, I am… wait, what did Rize-chan just say?

“Give me a sec. I’ll go find a witness for you—”

Rize-chan left the nurse’s cubicle to find Hyeon-ssi. I saw the nurse’s mouth fall wide open.

“…She, daughter… wha?”

“…”

I could almost imagine the mind fuck she was going through having heard something so absurd.

“…”

“…”

“Excuse me, but how old are you?”

It must take a completely dumbass not to ask about what was going on.

It was impossible to refuse an answer.

Fuck.

“…Seventeen.”

“…”

I sat there with the nurse for a full 5 minutes before mom arrived with Hyeon-ssi.

¸☆▫.-⌎.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*

You may only create your national identity card after your 12th birthday. And Rize-chan already had hers. This means that…

“Your birthday has passed?”

I asked Rize-chan who was removing the cotton wool tapped to her injection site.

“My birthday? No, why?”

“Huh? Then how did you make your ID card?”

“Oh, that’s because I don’t know my actual birthday. I came into existence without knowing anything about my age or body… and probably have no parents in this world. So Sergeant Hai Aki simply registered me for 7 years old on the 1st of Hana. So I made my ID earlier this year.”

“That’s very close to my birthday.”

“Oh? Is it? What a coincidence. When is it?”

“2nd of Hana.”

“Wow! You’re born a big baby then.”

A big baby…

“For me, I simply took the date I came into existence and made it my birthday. That would be the 5th of Mina.”

Kenji too, chose his birthday based on the day he arrived in this world.

It was currently the month of Yǔ. Which means there is about half a year between now and her birthday. I better remember that.

“How about the two of them? When were they born again?”

Rize-chan turned to Hyeon-ssi.

“Both of them were born last week. 11th of Yǔ.”

“Wha…! You should’ve told me. We didn’t host a birthday party!”

“You expect me to host a birthday party after all that has happened the past month?”

“Then let’s go do that now! SuBin, ChaDong, let’s go eat ice cream!”

“Ice scream!”

“What’s I scream?”

“Don’t know!”

“Rize-chan, correct me if I’m wrong but hadn’t you advised a while ago that it’s not a good idea to feed sugary stuff to kids so young?”

“That’s recommended advice that applies to kids below two years old! They’re old enough for pure sugar now!”

Prodded by Rize-chan’s enthusiasm, we stopped by the nearby mini-shopping district to have lunch. It was also a sightseeing trip for the kids who rarely get the chance to leave the house.

A cafe that serves Western dishes and various desserts.

Western dishes don’t actually imply that the food came from the Western side of the world. Rather, it’s how the culture refers to this cuisine when humans still lived on Earth.

“It’s their first time having it.”

Hyeon-ssi said.

“How do you like it?”

Rize-chan asked with a grin.

SuBin and ChaDong, who each had a small scoop of vanilla, were completely bewildered by the taste. It’s as if they never thought food could be eaten cold.

Really… as a child, the innocence and amazement of trying something novel creates such an awe-inspiring reaction. It’s really silly seeing the two try something for the first time.

“Yummy!”

“It’s cold!”

“Eat it slowly.”

Hyeon-ssi stoked ChaDong and SuBin’s heads. Since he lost his left, and only had his right hand remaining, he had to do it alternately.

“How’s writing?”

Rize-chan asked.

“Writing?”

“Aren’t you writing your latest magnum opus?”

Hyeon-ssi rolled his eyes.

“Decided to take a break.”

“Too bad, too bad. How far have you gotten?”

“I’ve decided to spend more time copy editing.”

“Heeh… are you short on cash or something?”

“Nothing like that. Isn’t it obvious why someone would stop writing?”

So it seems Hyeon-ssi who lost use of his left hand was now a writer?

“Heh. Don’t worry. You’re still young enough to get remarried someday.”

“You…”

“It’s the fact of the world sir. I’m sure Ms. Lili would’ve also wanted that. Didn’t she say it herself last time? Ahem, quote, how nice it would be if she had a friend to accompany her? And quote.”

“…”

Huh? I looked at Rize-chan.

“Yes, Ms. Lili is in support of polygamy.”

What, how?

I’ve heard that such people exist, though it’s usually the patriarch who pushes for multiple wives… it’s the first time I’m hearing it requested by the matriarch herself.

“Oo…”

SuBin enunciated her awe, watching as the semi-solid yoghurt ice cream melted back into liquid. Actually… was it even appropriate to talk about this in front of the kids?

“Because you know, traditionally, it was said that back in our hunter-gatherer days the females stayed back in groups to nurture the young while the males went out to hunt. Too bad I’m not open. So you should find someone else. Nom.”

Rize-chan said as she bit into her souffle.

“Neither my wife nor I ever had any intentions of choosing you to begin with.”

Hyeon-ssi rolled his eyes.

“Harsh.”

Oddly enough, despite cunning words from both parties, neither of them seemed offended? Normally, I would’ve expected a conversation like this to escalate into a full-blown conflict. Most especially because Rize-chan kept bringing up Ms. Chu as the topic.

Was Hyeon-ssi really that magnanimous or was he hiding his real feelings?

“Anyways, until you get another wife, do you have anything else you need help with? Do you have new clothes for them? How is their potty training coming along? Do you need more milk powder? How about their education? Can they do maths? What kind of unique talents have you noticed in them so far?”

“Right…”

“What?!”

“Cut me some slack. I’m still learning about these things, okay? Give me the rundown since you’re so experienced. SuBin and ChaDong are still both in diapers, but that’s just because of precaution. They’ll let me know every time they need to use the potty.”

“At two years of age, I think you can remove their diapers and teach them to not depend on it, slowly. But if you can still let them wear it at night when they’re sleeping if you’re still wary. In the mornings, let them go without it. Since you’re home most of the time right?”

“Yes.”

“How about clothes?”

“I don’t think my wife bought anymore for them, previously.”

“So we’ll need new ones then. How about milk? How much do you have left?”

“The nurse advised that they can eat proper meals now, so do we still need milk?”

“Depends on the child. You said ChaDong still prefers to drink milk, right?”

“Right…”

Mn… Rize-chan did say she was a nurse in her past life. That would explain how she knows so much about taking care of children.

Rize-chan’s expert council was indeed helpful to Kim Hyeon-ssi. That said, seeing an adult take advice from a child was rather bizarre.

.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*☆▫.-⌎

It happened that there was a clothing store nearby which sold children’s wear. Rize-chan, with Hyeon-ssi’s consideration, picked out new clothes for SuBin and ChaDong. As mentioned, they were going to outgrow their current ones fairly soon.

They also bought formula milk, additional diapers, some light groceries, and educational books.

“Should we have brought them back first?”

“Perhaps we should…”

And during the time they were busy buying, I took care of the two siblings. They were happily jumping around the miniature store-built playground just earlier. How was it that they suddenly fell asleep on me?

“SuBin, ChaDong…”

I poked them.

SuBin’s brows curled, vexed, refusing to open her eyes. Meanwhile, ChaDong responded by dropping the empty milk bottle from his mouth.

Both of them were curled up around me, their hands grasping my clothes.

“Jeez. What kids.”

Rize-chan clicked her tongue as she picked up the bottle ChaDong dropped and shoved it into the baby bag.

“I’ll carry SuBin. EiYun-san, you can carry ChaDong.”

“No, wait. I can carry them both. It’s fine.”

I denied Hyeon-ssi’s offer. He was already carrying a lot.

I took SuBin and ChaDong both, into my left and right arm respectively.

If I couldn’t carry this much, then I must be a failure of a soldier. Moreover, I could burn my bioprana to assist in the weight.

Reaching Hyeon-ssi’s house, I laid SuBin and ChaDong down to sleep on the mattress.

The two siblings were very cute.

I then went to the kitchen where Hyeon-ssi and Rize-chan were busy arranging the bought items.

“Thanks a lot, EiYun-san.”

“No, I should’ve done as much.”

“Hey, Mr. Hyeon, where does the milk powder go again?”

“Right-most upper shelf.”

He said right before leaving with all the baby clothes to the first floor.

“Right upper-most shelf. Right upper-most…”

Rize-chan muttered repeatedly as she stared at her target.

“Damn it.”

“I’ll help.”

She had no choice but to curse out loud because her target was too high up… she was too short. I reached over carefully and flipped the cabinet open. Inside were two more cans of the same brand of milk which they had bought.

“No fair, why am I so short… I swear kids my age should already be about your height.”

She’s cursing me short, isn’t she…

“What you eat maybe?”

“Eat? No way. You’re saying I’m so short because I didn’t drink enough milk?”

“Perhaps?”

“No way!”

No way… yet why are you considering my random assumptions so deeply.

“Well, my menstrual cycle hasn’t started yet so I still have a chance. I suppose I should buy some milk later.”

“Your menstrual cycle hasn’t started yet?”

“Nope. A girl’s growth spurt happens just before their menstrual cycle. Which means I still have a chance!”

“Then what if it’s simply a problem of your real age? What if you’re actually 10?”

You did say you came into this world without knowledge of anything about the body you’re currently inhabiting?

“That could be a possibility too… yeah. Let’s hope that’s what it is. You know, I was this tall in my past two lives.”

“Eh…”

She gestured her ideal height. Which was almost a head taller than me.

“It’s my previous height. The perfect height for any mature woman. I should aim for that, yep.”

Closing the cabinet after stuffing the can of formula milk in, I looked towards the table. I didn’t notice earlier but, it seems to be today’s newspaper.

On the front page was a picture of me. No.

It was a picture of Hwang EunHa.

And in bold letters that announced her death.

My eyes lost focus to the rigging in my ear that grew every passing second. My heart beat to the blood pumping in my veins. Black thoughts stained my mind.

A scintillation of light hit my eye, forcing me to blink away.

I turned to where it came from; the small bonsai tree in a pot sitting beside the window caught my eye.

I took a breath of air. It calmed me down.

“Rize-chan, I have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Why isn’t Hyeon-ssi mad when you talk about Ms. Chu?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you should ask him?”

What kind of answer…

“If I were to guess, I’d say it’s because that’s just the kind of person he is. Both Mr. Hyeon and Ms. Lili had very open personalities.”

“…Open personalities.”

“They knew one or the other would die eventually. I heard from Ms. Lili to make a vow not to mourn for each other’s deaths. Well, Mr. Hyeon couldn’t keep that promise though. I don’t think a sane person could.”

“…”

“Why’d you ask?”

Rize-chan touched my shoulder.

“Are you worried that your family wouldn’t cry because of you?”

“…No.”

That’s not it. Rather… it’s because everyone I met who had a loved one die gets dyed black.

I found it odd that Hyeon-ssi was the first person whom I’ve seen accepting death in such a positive light.

Sure, he may be stained in some parts, but it didn’t engulf him. The pain of loss.

I could almost call him an anomaly. To forgive me, the person who brought Ms. Chu’s death… so readily. I’m worried if he was bottling up his actual feelings.

“Then you should just ask. I’m sure he’ll be happy to give you an answer.”

Mom said with a reassuring smile.

¸☆▫.-⌎.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*

“What are your plans after this?”

“No idea. I suppose to teach them how to do basic calculus?”

“Actually, it would be better to focus on their conversation skills first.”

“And how do I go about that?”

“Talk to them often. In adult sentences. I’ll also drop by every now and then to play, so they’ll at least have company.”

“I would appreciate it.”

“Now, Eun-chan here has a question for you.”

Rize-chan pushed me to the front.

Hyeon-ssi raised a brow.

“So?”

“Eh, um…”

“It’s alright. I won’t get mad, just ask.”

“Why… no. I’m sorry for asking. And I don’t mean what I say but… just, because of your actions, a little… I wondered if um, you’re not sad that Ms. Chu passed…?”

“Of course I’m sad. But life goes on, that’s just how it is.”

“…But…”

“What she means to ask is, why is your reaction to death so different from everyone else.”

Rize-chan helped follow up. I could only nod because she was right.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know Hyeon-ssi wasn’t sad. It was that I didn’t understand why he wasn’t swept away by the dark emotions.

“Who knows really. Maybe because she wouldn’t have wanted me to be that way. Plus, I have kids to take care of, any reasonable father should understand what to put first.”

“I still don’t understand…”

“Well, just think of it like this. Some people will screw their lives over after the death of their family, but that isn’t who I am. Maybe because of my past or whatever, but a person’s actions aren’t simply black and white. Someone else might have a different reaction to what happened, there are a million ways to react to one thing. I simply chose what I thought would be most beneficial. Everyone is doing their best in their own way. This is just who I am.”

“…Okay.”

“You still look confused.”

He sighed. And it was a justified reaction.

I understood what he meant. In simple terms, everyone is different. Everyone is trying their best.

But, is it appropriate to apply this kind of thinking to myself? As someone who was meant to die?

“I think she got it. She’s just processing your philosophy.”

Rize-chan said.

“Thank you Hyeon-ssi.”

I bowed.

“No problems. Just promise me one thing.”

“Yes. I won’t die.”

“No.”

No?

He looked me resolutely in the eye.

“Don’t just ‘not die’. Live your life to the fullest, the one my wife granted you.”

Right.

“I… will try my best.”

I do have this vow to keep.

.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*☆▫.-⌎

After a short hypnotherapy session, she would ask me this:

“Okay, so how was today?”

I finally opened my eyes, and found her sparkling aureate eyes. Her face was no more than a few inches in front of me. This was our nightly ritual.

Assessment and feedback.

To ensure I was fine for the day, and recovering from what she referred to as my ‘past traumas’.

But today was different. I distanced myself a little before responding to her.

“…Fine?”

My mind was clear. It’s an aftereffect that I’ve grown used to after every session.

It was a refreshing feeling, one that I would get when I was with her. She said it was some form of meditation where I alter my brainwaves. But I had no idea how to do it alone. The last time I tried, I had a panic attack.

It’s only when the session is done with her that the old memories don’t surface. Of course, this afterglow is only temporary. Once I wake up the next morning, I go back to my old self, drowning in a flood of black ink. The unending reasons that torment my mind.

Nevertheless, Rize-chan said in time, it’ll start changing for the better.

Though… I had no idea how changing something like that could be helpful. What’s the point in being optimistic when we evolved to be pessimistic, in order to survive?

With an expression that seemed to question my reaction today, she thrust her face closer to mine. I responded by creating more distance.

“Hey.”

“Mom, stop that…”

“Stop what?”

“Why do you always get so close…”

“What? But you’re my daughter aren’t you?”

I’m your daughter, yes. But this daughter of yours is already an adult. Treating me like SuBin or ChaDong would be uncomfortable.

“What’s going through your mind I wonder?”

Every step back, she takes two steps forward.

To leave her was impossible. To fight back against the only person whom I could depend on was worse. I… can’t do anything…

“Why are you acting like this today? What’s wrong, tell me.”

Why am I acting like this? Well, I heard DaHong-san say that you’re potentially lesbian. So I’ve become conscious of the way we act around ourselves. That’s why I’m acting like this.

And, I feel incredibly stupid that we indeed act as if we were actually so.

“T-That… it’s nothing.”

The fact that Rize-chan has never been married, was a true statement. Yet it was a lie to say that she hadn’t fallen in love.

I just didn’t know who the person was that she referred to in her diary. Was it a girl or a boy?

“Mwu.”

Rize-chan pouted.

I looked away with furrowed brows. You’ve already cornered me to a wall, why do you need to get any closer to me?

She squished my cheeks with both her hands. Her body leaned against mine, the warmth, the supple softness of her skin felt through the nightgown.

Her beating heart.

Fuck.

I swear I shouldn’t be blushing.

“I’ll keep pressing on you until you tell me.”

“Nwoo… it nowthing swewious…”

Is she aware of how she was treating me? What if DaHong-san was wrong? Actually, even if DaHong-san was right, do her actions imply that sort of love?

I mean, Hyeon-ssi himself showed me that impressions are different from reality. Just because stereotypes exist, doesn’t mean they’re necessarily true in all cases.

Rize-chan may be lesbian. A lesbian who doesn’t see me as anything but her daughter.

And frankly speaking, what kind of mother marries her daughter? Only someone insane could do something like that.

“…”

“…”

Oh. Right.

Mom is insane, isn’t she?

Help.

I glanced over her shoulder and saw Cinnamon the turtle watching us. I pleaded with my eyes. It seemed that he got the message.

Snap. Snap.

“Owh! Owh! Cinnamon—!”

Cinnamon bit Rize-chan’s neck from behind, providing me with the perfect window of escape.

“I-I’m just uncomfortable with how we’re too close, mom. It’s unbecoming of a parent-child relationship… that’s what I think.”

I yelped. Rize-chan eventually recovered from Cinnamon’s attack. The turtle in question was now sitting on her head.

She looked at me with a puffy expression. Pondering…

“Was your father distant to you when you were a child?”

“Huh? That’s not… what I mean…”

“So I take it that you and your father don’t have the best of relationships?”

Father was certainly a cold man. But…

“Then I dare say it’s due to the difference in parenting methods. I’m warm and prefer intimate contact. Not to judge families that prefer a formal manner of upbringing. Maybe you’re just not used to the way I want to treat my family. After all, you lacked a maternal figure in your life.”

“Uh…”

“I’ll try to respect your boundaries, that’s what it is right?”

Set boundaries.

Create distance.

Go away.

Disappear from my life.

I… didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want this to be a reason she distances herself from me.

What the hell am I even doing…? To request something when I clearly lack the right to do so?

“Alright. Thanks for letting me know.”

“T-That’s not it!”

“Aha?”

I stammered.

“Don’t… don’t leave me mom…”

Please…

“E-Eh?! I’m not leaving you anywhere! I’m right here, right?!”

…You idiot. Crying over such a tiny matter. I must be crazy. I’ve been crazy all along.

“There, there…”

Rize-chan stroked my back as I wailed.

Caringly.

Affectionately.

Just like a mother would.

-☆▫.-▫.｡.:* ▫⌎.☆\*: .｡ ▫.-

“Akane-san, your weekly junk is here!”

“What?!”

Akane peeked out of her room, almost tripping.

Flop. DaHong slapped the magazine on the table.

“There.”

“Hey! Careful with my stuff!”

He shrugged and walked away without saying anything.

“Hey, you…! Darn, the kind of bastard he is.”

Couldn’t he just hand it over nicely to her? Was there any reason to play each other like this?

“Jeez, and to think he of all people picked it up from the office for me…”

Akane was planning to take the issue when she returned to the lab tomorrow. Though it seemed that DaHong who passed by picked it up for her.

Journal of BioTec. The fortnightly magazine series related to the latest findings in quantum biology, prana, and sometimes thaumaturgy.

To Akane, this was the scientific equivalent of a porn magazine.

“Now then, what do we have here?”

Coming back inside her room with her freshly brewed cup of tea, she began with the first page.

“…The death of the proverbial Nereid, body went missing. Wait, hold up?! Since when?!”

Hwang EunHa. In the military world, she was regarded as the Hell General’s cursed daughter. The Harbinger of Death. The Devil.

In the scientific community however, she went by a different name.

The Nereid.

As the first, and only person capable of mobilising bioprana in her body, and to utilise it to perform feats that most humans could only dream of, Hwang EunHa was the marvel of the scientific community worldwide.

“The body, gone? Nothing to be dissected?”

The article in question discussed the conflicts in question between various political groups. Digging into things like ethics, and human rights.

“It’s not about what is moral or not. We have been dissecting creatures for as long as the epoch! And didn’t she agree to donate her body to science after her death?! How was it lost?!”

The loss of The Nereid’s body was not simply a matter of death. It was the loss of an entire study in science.

“Decided to end her life in Fortress 13 because she believed it would be for the best of humanity… now, isn’t this a surprising statement from the sergeant in charge of her death.”

People were even pulling schemes behind her back. Before her death, the only reason scientists couldn’t get their hands on The Nereid was due to her father’s great influence, and the War Saint’s intervention. They denied anything to be done to her experimentally when she was alive.

“Disgusting.”

And yet these two people did nothing to stop her suicide. In fact, they could’ve been the ones to have instigated it.

“They don’t even have the right to discuss morality.”

Akane took a sip of her tea as she leaned back on her chair. She sighed.

“That’s really disappointing. How can they have treated someone like that? Huh?”

Akane snapped back and reread the article one more time.

“Rize-chan’s last mission post was Fortress 13, wasn’t it? Then she should know something about it wouldn’t she…”

Slowly, as if the world began to shake, her eyes trembled.

“Body not found? Rize-chan adopted a daughter? And that daughter has a mysterious bioprana signature?”

She slowly turned towards the fish tank. The snapping Crazy Koi.

“Ah… no wonder Rize-chan calls her Eun-chan.”

Deduction was an important skill for any scientist.

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

The very next morning, I woke up without a nightmare.

It was still dark outside, but I didn’t wish to sleep anymore so I decided to get up and wash up first.

“Morning mom…”

I said silently to her, who was still asleep. I left the bedroom.

Downstairs, I saw the red-haired genius lofting around the sofa with her lab coat and clipboard in hand with some meticulous data.

“Morning Akane-san… going to the lab today?”

She glanced at me who just came down from the bedroom upstairs… and narrowed her eyes silently. Why?

Was there anything off about me? I checked my hair. It’s brown, could it be the bed hair…?

“Hwang EunHa.”

My body stiffened. That name…

“It was the biggest news in BioTec this past two weeks. They say her family will be holding a funeral for her with an empty casket.”

“…Who is that?”

That’s not me. Akane-san blew a quick sigh. Hwang EunHa is dead.

“Well, the scientific community refers to her as the one true Nereid. Experts have been dying to learn about her biology… yet to think they’d lose the corpse. What a waste. Studying her could’ve unlocked a lot of new knowledge.”

Right. EunHa’s death was indeed the most valuable thing she could provide to the world. She should’ve left her corpse behind.

I smiled.

“I see… it’s a real pity, isn’t it?”

It was a mysterious smile.

“Right, what a pity.”

Akane-san crossed her legs and bent over. Staring right into my eyes.

“Truly a pity.”

.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*☆▫.-⌎

⁛ Origin Year 138, 22nd of Yǔ.

I wasn’t sure if Akane-san realised it. But I was sure she had at least felt a suspicion—that Hwang EunHa was the me that left the world.

She left for the laboratory before I could confirm her thoughts. Now I was worried.

What if she revealed the truth? Even a small rumour would completely weed me out.

What should I do now?

“Ah? She found out? Well, it can’t be helped. She won’t tell anyone about it, don’t worry.”

Rize-chan waved off my worries as if they were irrelevant.

“Huh? H-How are you so sure?”

“That girl may look like a genius biologist, but she’s really just insecure about her achievements. She’d rather keep the information so that she can study you alone.”

“Is that so…”

“Yep. Though, just in case, I suppose I’ll tell her to keep it a secret since it’s beneficial to both of us.”

“She might use it against you, a form of blackmail.”

“Eun-chan, why are you so negative? Akane-san and I are friends.”

“…”

“You’re safe with me. It’s fine.”

Safe…

I’m safe with her.

“You know… Kenji said the same thing once.”

I laughed.

“Is that so?”

So I don’t know if I could depend on such a reassurance. Because I was a lot more dangerous to myself than I could’ve imagined.

Ring~

Interrupting our conversation, the restaurant’s first customers arrived.

“Are you going to help around the restaurant today?”

“Yes. I don’t want to be wasted baggage.”

“You’re not wasted baggage… well, give it your best shot. If you need anything, I’ll be around the kitchen.”

“Okay.”

And so the work day began.

“To table 3.”

“A new order from table 5, take a look.”

“Don’t forget to make the missed omelettes for table 6!”

“EiYun-chan, pass this to table 2 will you?”

“Alright…!”

Intermittently, I’ve been helping out as the waiter for the past few weeks. But I still hadn’t gotten used to the flow of things.

There were a lot of things to memorise. Like understanding the shorthand of certain menu items, and the ability to remember all present customers and their orders for payment.

“Your meal, miss.”

“It’s quite busy today isn’t it?”

“Sure is.”

The client laughed as I served her food. I didn’t pause too long as the next table had just cleared. I quickly assisted Ms. YiChen who pulled the cleaning trolley over.

Dirty plates were arranged in the lower baskets, and cups placed on the upper. Utensils were divided into two smaller buckets, and trash had to be sorted into food waste and recyclable waste.

I wiped the table with a wet cloth after Ms. YiChen cleared the plates from the table. Lunch rush hour passed quickly.

“Wheewh. Today was harsh.”

“I wonder why today especially.”

“Maybe it’s because people are coming back home to celebrate Remembrance Day.”

“Oh yeah, that’s tomorrow isn’t it?”

“When are you going to pay a visit to the cemetery?”

“Me? I suppose tomorrow.”

“I’m thinking today, right after the shift.”

“What?”

“The monastery will be packed on the day itself. I don’t want to squeeze in with the crowd.”

“It’s just saying our prayers, right? I’ve gone there on Remembrance Day, but it wasn’t actually that crowded.”

The conversations played out between the waiters.

Remembrance Day.

It was a solemn occasion to honour the fallen soldiers who have given their lives in the ongoing battle against the monsters from below.

On this special day, the priests and priestesses would offer hymns and prayers to the Gods for the safety of people and humanity. I listened in without adding an opinion.

Ring~

“Another customer.”

“I’ll take it.”

I left the counter and went to attend them.

“How many people today?”

I asked.

“Oh.”

The man in his cadet uniform looked surprised.

Auburn hair, a pair of olive eyes. He had the impression of an absolute greenhorn. I looked behind him. While he was a cadet, several high-ranking officials accompanied him.

This was my first time encountering a group like this.

“Twelve, in total.”

“Twelve?”

That’s a lot.

“The rest are on their way.”

“Okay…?”

“It would be best if we could have a large table for the small assembly we planned for today.”

We didn’t have tables that large. The largest could at most fit eight.

“Um, we don’t have a single table large enough to accommodate all twelve. Is it alright to split the tables? One eight, the other four?”

“Really? Uh, you know what? just help me call Rize-sama or DaHong-san. They’re around right?”

Rize… sama? Huh? Who is this person?

I was just about to panic when Ms. YiChen grabbed my shoulder from behind.

“Hey, TaeHyun-san, long time no see!”

“Ah, fuck. For a second there I thought I came to the wrong place. So she’s a new face?”

Tae-Hyun? Where had I heard his name before?

“Yep, she’s new. This is EiYun-san, and she’s working part-time, so what’s this all of a sudden?”

“I see… Ms. YiChen, I need a table for twelve. No splits.”

“Really now… shouldn’t you already know that we don’t have a seat so big.”

“That yes, but… isn’t there some way we could combine the tables?”

“That we’ll have to ask Rize-chan. Is this supposed to be some kind of important event? Why here?”

“It’s complicated. Major Shen asked me and Nana-chan for a favour, not like we could refuse can we now? Where is Rize-sama?”

“In the kitchen.”

“Let her know it’s Major Shen’s request for twelve.”

“Then you hold on.”

“???”

Ms. YiChen grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the restaurant.

“That there is TaeHyun. A cadet soldier that Rize-chan took care of. ”

“It’s my first time seeing him.”

“I suppose that shouldn’t come as a surprise—Rize-chan! TaeHyun-san is calling for you!”

“TaeHyun-kun?! Where?!”

Rize-chan shouted back from the kitchen.

“He’s asking for a 12 seater. Apparently, he’s got a whole unit of high-ranking officials following him. He said something about Major Shen coming.”

“Gimme a sec!”

Passing the job to Mr. Chow, Rize-chan took to the entrance.

“TaeHyun-kun! It’s been so long!”

“Rize-sama, hope you’ve been well.”

“Yes, yes. Now tell them to come in, I’ve got just the place… geh. Monkey man is here.”

“Who are you calling monkey man huh? Black chibi.”

Mr. Ng HouZi snorted. I hadn’t noticed him.

“So she’s the Black Siren?”

“She’s just a child.”

“Can’t judge one by their looks eh?”

While the gossiping of some of the officers continued, Rize-chan led them to their tables. She had us bring over extra chairs to extend the seats.

The other customers that were having their meals were frightened by the sudden visit of these people.

Soldiers of humanity—there are even a few lieutenants here.

“Ms. Tatsuki Rize, I take it?”

“Yes, that’s me, lieutenant.”

“A pleasure to meet you. I’m Lieutenant Ku Ryouko.”

“I’m Tatsuki Rize. CEO of this restaurant. The pleasure is mine.”

“Pfft… you amuse me.”

Just what is this…

“I’ve heard rumours but… to think that you’re actually a child.”

They were rather… lively.

“So what’s the occasion for the sudden visit? And where’s Nana-chan?”

Rize-chan asked.

“Uh well, the major asked me and Nana-chan to arrange a luncheon here at this restaurant on short notice so…”

“Then you should’ve made a booking. This is not a conducive place to hold official meetings, I’ll let you know. There are prying eyes everywhere.”

“Don’t be too harsh on him Ms. Black Siren. The major’s intentions are light. She made the plan to come earlier this morning. As for the details… she’ll talk to you about it when she arrives. If possible, I would ask that you free some of your evening time.”

“Seriously… that woman has no shame.”

“You’d… talk about the major like that? What were you taught in the military? Makes me doubt if you were actually disciplined properly.”

The air in the room seemed to drop as one of the lieutenants challenged her smile with disdain.

Rize-chan coughed.

“I’m not up for a war of words, so I’ll just let Monkey Face explain.”

“You fucker…”

“Gahahaha! She called you Monkey Face Mr. Houzi!”

“Everyone, please keep words to yourselves. Major ordered us to treat her with respect.”

“Dear hyung, always playing the straight man.”

“Tsk.”

“Shut it guys. You’re being an absolute disgrace! The major clearly told us to respect…”

Ring~

The soldiers and officers quickly stood up abruptly.

“““Greetings to Major Shen.”””

Major Shen… no, Wang GohJi. Long white ash hair, cunning eyes the shade of toxic purple.

The pressure she was emitting from her presence alone… I felt myself trembling unconsciously.

“Apologies for the intrusion.”

She said, likely referring to the other customers of the restaurant.

She can’t find out about me.

“Cadet Kazuo Nana, Cadet TaeHyun. You two have done well. Feel free to join today’s luncheon, otherwise, you may be dismissed.”

““Yes Major!””

“It’s been a while, Major Wang.”

“Hasn’t it only been two weeks at most since our last visit, Ms. Tatsuki?”

“That’s that. Luckily for you, I’m working the kitchen today so I’ll personally make the dishes. Place your orders quickly.”

“What an honour. Hopefully, your confidence doesn’t precede your skill.”

“Oh, I’m sure I won’t disappoint.”

Rize-chan showed a confident grin.

“Good.”

She said with a smile

“I like people like you.”

She… Major Wang actually smiled? I felt chills envelop my whole body.

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

The meals were handled in silence, only the sound of utensils and plates were heard. The air of the restaurant was weirdly stiff.

“It was a good meal.”

Major Wang said. It was clear to anyone who observed, that Rize-chan’s cooking managed to win their hearts.

“Yay~”

Rize-chan personally took the role of attendee, playing both the waiter and chef.

I listened to their conversation from behind the kitchen.

“What do you think of the food?”

“Certainly, it’s good.”

“I struggle to believe that this is the work of a child.”

“Hey, how old are you? I heard you’re not even fifteen?”

I heard the sound of the dragging chair. Major Wang suddenly stood up and came beside Rize-chan.

“I suppose I should introduce her to those unaware.”

Major Wang began…

“Tatsuki Rize. The one whom rumours speak of as the Black Siren, First Sergeant Hai Aki’s right-hand woman. Her crowning achievements include the successful completion of several critical missions in part of Project Sink, which includes plunging Shibaraki District and succeeding in a rescue operation of over a hundred soldiers against a Leviathan. As of most recent…”

Whilst ending the life of The Harbinger of Death, defended Fortress 13 from a Category 5 Cloud Hive.

My legs grew weak. My head spun.

“Major Wang, you know that the one who ended her life was herself right?”

“Oh, is that so?”

“She killed herself. I was only there to witness it.”

“Still, plenty of an achievement nonetheless. Furthermore, allow me to speak for Staff Sergeant Chu’s sacrifice. My condolences.”

“Mn… I’m sure she’s fine with her decision.”

Ms. YiChen touched my shoulders. I flinched.

“EiYun-chan… are you okay?”

“Ah?”

“You look pale…”

“D-Do I…”

“I know it’s uncomfortable being here with so many soldiers around so, why not go in and take a break?”

“I-I think I’ll do that… thank you…”

“Ms. Tatsuki, I thank you sincerely for ending her life.”

That accursed woman who killed my son and daughter.

.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*☆▫.-⌎

“To repay for your efforts. Knowing that you don’t wish to be burdened, may I offer you a special position in my brigade as my advisor?”

“I’m sorry Major. I can’t take that role.”

Rize refused at once.

“How unfortunate. Is the responsibility too heavy still?”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Preposterous! The major offered such a position, the least you could do is accept it you privileged w…

“Lieutenant Ku, shut it.”

Shen GohJi snapped at him.

“…”

“Ms. Tatsuki, why is it that you deny my offer?”

“Frankly, I want nothing to do with the military when I’m on break. Of course, that isn’t to say I wouldn’t help should any emergency situation befall New Hangul. Since both TaeHyun-kun and Nana-chan are under my care, you can at least count on me to act within that criteria.”

“That’s no more than the responsibility I seek as my advisor. I see no reason why it would burden you if that’s what the role requires…”

“You know, I have never once held any official positions in First Sergeant Hai Aki’s squad. Six years of service later, I don’t see a need to change that.”

Six years… which meant the Black Siren had been part of the military since she was six years old. The cold harsh fact made for no further arguments.

It was clear to everyone here that this girl had no desire for status, wealth or power. Without any need for those external proofs, her existence alone was the epitome of them all. A true maverick.

“I see…”

“Of course, I’m really glad you offered me that title. But how about we just be friends? Let me know anytime you need help. But within limits, cuz I’m retired, got that?”

“I will keep that in mind.”

“Well, sorry for holding you up. Here’s the complimentary dessert we made especially today. Ta-da!”

On cue, DaHong brought the tray of ice cream souffle over. Together the waiters arranged the special ramekins on the table.

“You needn’t have.”

Shen GohJi shook her head delightfully.

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

The storm hath passed. Them officers that barged into the restaurant without making any prior bookings left. Rize groaned.

“S-Sorry. We had no idea.”

Kazuo Nana kept bowing in apology.

“I swear the major said she only wanted to try the food here.”

TaeHyun said, biting his teeth.

“Yeah, well, that major has a couple screws loose in her head. Can’t help it.”

Rize muttered.

“That… uh…”

“…”

To the two young cadets, Rize’s statement was to be reprimanded but… the major herself held her in high regard so… was it appropriate to retort here?

“Anyways, welcome back you two. How long of a break did the major give you?”

“She said two days?”

“Two days, the major said.”

“Two days? What an oddly random number.”

“It’s considered special leave so we can visit the cemetery. It’s not deducted from our applied leaves.”

“Wha? So cadets have applied leaves now?”

Rize thought that the major’s way of handling things was seriously corporate.

“Putting that aside… did anyone see Eun-chan?”

“Eun-chan?”

“Oh, she was frightened by the major, so I told her to rest.”

YiChen pointed out.

“You help hold the fort here in the restaurant. I need to see her. Thanks a bunch!”

“Sure thing boss!”

““???””

Seeing Rize rush off, TaeHyun and Nana could only look at each other puzzled.

“What are you two standing here for? You’re disturbing the customers.”

YiChen reminded with a cough.

“Ah, okay.”

“I suppose we should take a bath…”

“Right. A nice long bath.”

Following after Rize, the two cadets entered the residential building in a daze.

-☆▫.-▫.｡.:* ▫⌎.☆\*: .｡ ▫.-

“That accursed woman who killed my son and daughter.”

Rize wondered what Major Shen meant by that.

Was it a grudge that came from EunHa’s survival? Times where she survived when she may have very well died alongside the others? Rize wanted to know the details… no.

She didn’t need the details.

What she needed to know was how EunHa was feeling. For a girl with such a frail mental state, to hear something so harsh would’ve without a doubt hurt her psyche.

“Eun-chan.”

Rize called out to her, the girl with auburn hair, and a pair of glasses drooping off her nose. She was seated on the ground with her head hung low, her breathing shaky. It was senseless to ask if she was alright.

She clearly wasn’t.

Rize took a seat beside her.

“Did it hurt when she said that?”

“…Yes.”

“Are you recalling painful memories?”

“…Ye…s.”

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

“…”

EunHa moved slightly. Taking off her glasses, she buried her head into her knees.

“…She’s right…”

In a raspy, airy voice she confessed.

“I killed them.”

“Sergeant Wang KeZhi and,”

“…Ayumi.”

Major Shen GohJi’s only son and daughter died because she couldn’t protect them. Because of her curse.

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

“Rize-sama is always taking care of new people, don’t you think?”

Kazuo Nana remarked as she munched on dried seaweed sheets.

“Yeah. And the new girl especially. I wonder how they met.”

TaeHyun held his chin with this lingering thought. Both of them were lazing around the living room.

Swoosh~

A shadow flew over.

Snap! Snap!

“Yo, yo! Our best turtle come here!”

“Cinnamon! Long time no see!”

Snap. Snap.

The sky turtle nuzzled its snout against Nana and TaeHyun’s body in turn before finally settling on top of TaeHyun’s hair. He stroked Cinnamon’s head with his finger.

“You’re still the same size after so long?”

Snap. Snap.

“Weird isn’t it? Cinnamon grew so fast the first year, but after that, he just stopped. I wonder if there’s a reason for that—want some seaweed?”

Snap. Snap.

“Have you seen Akane-san anywhere Nana-chan?”

“Akane-san? I heard that she left for her laboratory.”

“Then I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to see what new stuff she has in her lab. The special PP-grenades she gave, have you tried it?”

TaeHyun got up from the sofa and stretched.

“I didn’t get the chance to.”

Following that, Nana got up and walked behind him.

“Those things are nasty. The PP-grenades, I threw one and the demonica in the effective range went into convulsions.”

“So the permanent paralysis function works?”

“Yes and no. The octopus demonica we met didn’t fall to the ground. More like its body stopped listening to itself, so it flew around crazily. That could be dangerous if it’s any fast-moving demonica. There were also the normal shrimps nearby which were affected. They went especially crazy.”

“You should tell Akane-san about it when you meet her next time. I’m still trying to find an opportunity to use them.”

Snap. Snap.

“And yeah… those things better stay far away from Cinnamon. Can’t imagine what would happen if he was hit.”

The two came before Akane’s room.

“Um, are you sure it’s alright to enter someone’s room without permission?”

“She made a secret bedroom in her basement, didn’t she? Then the room she usually uses would’ve become any common room.”

“That… but…”

“I wonder if this mad scientist is ever afraid someone might steal something, always leaving her room doors open.”

Nana couldn’t persuade TaeHyun otherwise. It was a habit of his to check on Akane’s latest project to kill time. It just so happened that Akane was out today.

TaeHyun and Nana walked right in and…

“D-Demonica!”

Nana yelped.

“It’s koi… when the fuck did she build a tank like this?”

TaeHyun leaned in and studied the Crazy Koi. Blackish scales and spiky fins. Sitting right next to the demonica tank was a tank of normal, healthy koi.

“I wonder what she’s up to this time. She even brought the Variable EMP-wave Diminutive Wavestack Delineator.”

“The what?”

“It’s on the label here.”

“Eh… the name’s too long.”

“Let’s see what she’s been up to.”

TaeHyun dug through the paper waste basket, unfolding one of the papers.

“A graph of bioprana it says here… hm? It also says… EiYun-san?”

“EiYun-san? Where?”

“This scribble chart here.”

“What is this?”

“I don’t know… some bioprana wave signal?”

A comparison between marine life and EiYun’s bioprana. And on the bottom right, a question mark which writes ‘demonica’s bioprana EMPG(?)’.

TaeHyun and Nana looked at each other.

““What?””

.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*☆▫.-⌎

“Eun-chan, meet TaeHyun and Kazuo Nana. TaeHyun-kun, Nana-chan, meet Tatsuki EiYun.”

Rize and EunHa sat on one side of the sofa.

TaeHyun and Nana sat on the other.

“Nice to meet you—”

Kazuo Nana bowed respectfully.

“Likewise… nice to meet you two.”

EiYun said timidly.

“Tatsuki? She’s a Tatsuki?”

TaeHyun however, couldn’t get rid of this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Yup. I decided to adopt her.”

“Rize-sama you what…?”

“Ha?”

TaeHyun and Nana both fell confused.

“A-Adopt? Her? Wha…”

“Who is she exactly?”

Who is she? And why was she the subject of Akane’s experiment?

“She’s someone that needs special care. That’s all I’d say.”

“Special care?”

“An orphan then?”

“You could say more or less.”

Rize neither denied nor agreed.

“Anything you want to say to them, Eun-chan?”

“Um… no?”

EunHa glanced at the two young cadets now in comfortable clothes. These were the fledgling Rize wanted to meet last time, but they weren’t in the barracks.

Kazuo Nana. Grey-purple hair weaved in a half ponytail, and crystal red eyes.

And TaeHyun. Curly brown hair, and sharp olive eyes.

“Then I have something to ask… if that’s alright, EiYun-san?”

Nana raised her hand.

“What is it?”

“How did you meet Rize-sama?”

“…”

“At a back alley somewhere in Fort City I’d say… of course, that’s a lie.”

Rize followed up on EunHa’s silence with a jest.

“So it’s a secret.”

“Yup. Just like with many things.”

A secret. Which meant it wasn’t okay to talk about why EiYun was an experimental subject.

“Then it can’t be helped.”

TaeHyun crossed his arms and leaned back against the sofa. His studying eyes fixated on EunHa, this girl who…

“What are your hobbies EiYun-san?”

Nana asked.

“I don’t have any hobbies?”

“Then, what did you do before this?”

“Uh… working?”

“What kind of work?”

“…”

“…”

Conversations with her were hit or miss it seems.

“Well, because of her complicated background, let’s not talk about that shall we…?”

Rize said awkwardly.

“Right, then how about this.”

TaeHyun spoke.

“Nana-san and I plan to visit the monastery tomorrow to pay respects to the soldiers. Since it’s the whole reason the major gave us these two days off.”

“Are you planning to come? Or do you have other plans scheduled…”

Nana and TaeHyun looked at her with pleading eyes. Rize turned to EunHa.

“…”

She nudged her.

“You’re alright with tomorrow?”

“…Okay.”

“And there we have it. We’re visiting the cemetery tomorrow.”

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

BANG!

The bullet collided with the target.

“Looks like my aim is still good. Your turn Nana-chan.”

“Oh, uh.”

Nana received the gun from TaeHyun.

She held the trigger and aimed from the dot sight scope. The target was an ‘X’ mark drawn on the tree situated 20 metres away.

It was a makeshift training ground a few blocks away from the restaurant residence which Rize built for them before they were enrolled as a cadet.

Away and free of people, it was here that Rize taught them the basics of firearms and CQC.

Nana remembered how she and TaeHyun used to pass each other the gun, at this specific gun range to practise holding and aiming techniques.

BANG! Swish—!

The bullet flew past the mark and entered the forest. The gun that Nana and TaeHyun were holding was the P-SCAR with a silencer attached. An advanced prana-operated version of Earth’s FN SCAR.

“Missed…”

Nana sighed in disappointment.

“Can’t be helped.”

TaeHyun said. Nana turned towards him, noticing that he had his attention elsewhere—towards those two.

Rize and EiYun. They were fighting with soft wooden daggers.

“She’s from the military.”

TaeHyun muttered.

“But she’s so skilled though…”

Nana could barely keep up with their exchanges. Rize’s fluid movements which resembled that of a martial artist… against EiYun’s calculative manoeuvres that combined experience and mastery of details.

One punch blocked by a diversion of the upper arm. A swing dodged with a slide. A kick nullified with another.

Rize clearly had the upper hand against EiYun. But, it was also clear to them that EiYun who was struggling was no pushover either.

“How did she end up with Rize I wonder?”

“No idea.”

Like a jellyfish, EiYun’s beauty was deceiving.

“I suppose asking ourselves wouldn’t get us anywhere.”

TaeHyun took the gun from Nana and fired. Swish—

“A miss.”

He sighed.

“You know, I’ve been thinking.”

“Thinking about?”

“Why Rize-sama always attract the goodwill of others?”

Nana had known about this years ago when she first met Rize as an orphan. She had this charisma and magnetism to her that one just can’t explain in words. Her ability—luck to attract good things, and her carefree personality should’ve been at odds.

“You mean that girl EiYun?”

“I mean the offer major dropped on her yesterday. I’m so glad things didn’t go awry…”

Nana said with a wry smile.

“Yeah, that took me by surprise too. I’m glad Rize-sama didn’t get angry at us.”

Because unintentionally, they had brought trouble directly to the restaurant. Had Rize responded differently, the outcome would’ve been vastly different.

To deny a position so openly in front of so many high-ranking officers… was something no normal human could pull off. It required a diamond will and a courage of steel.

“Well, I think the major would’ve tolerated that much. Since she looked like she was in a good mood.”

“A good mood huh?”

TaeHyun pondered.

About Major Shen’s smile. It was the first time he saw that cold stern boss of his smile like that.

“The girl who killed her family died. I suppose she was glad they were avenged.”

“Mn…”

Nana nodded.

“But just who is she anyway? She sounds like a big deal, but it’s the first time I’ve read about her.”

“Let’s ask Rize-sama. She was there on the scene…”

“Ask me what?”

“Ah!”

Rize snuck up behind Nana.

“Don’t go off slacking when training. Do it seriously, seriously okay?”

“Sorry.”

Nana lowered her head.

“…”

“…”

Meanwhile, TaeHyun and EiYun stared at each other silently.

“You’re an ex-militia right?”

“Maybe…?”

EiYun’s answer made TaeHyun a little miffed. She should just say yes if he was right.

“Here.”

“…?”

“Take it.”

“Uh, no… I don’t think…”

Seeing as she was refusing, TaeHyun forced the gun upon her.

“The target is there. I want to see if you can snipe—”

The instant she came into contact with the metal body.

“!!!—”

All the memories…

“…the target…?”

“STOP! STOPPP ITT!!!”

Ayumi died.

“AAHHHH!! No…”

ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

“W-Wha?!” “EiYun!?” “Eun-chan!”

“AAHHHHHH—!!!!”

Rize-chan quickly grabbed hold of her and forced the girl in hysteria to look at her.

“Look at me! Eun-chan, look at me!”

“SAVE THEM!! SAVE THEM PLEASE!!!”

It’s your fault.

“HELP THEM! Help… ”

“Eun-chan, they’re safe… they’re safe..”

Screaming. Out of reality. Unsound. Broken.

You should’ve just died.

Seeing the gun fallen by the side, this girl weeping in Rize’s arms… a kind of existence TaeHyun knew but had never seen…

“…”

The ones traumatised by war. This was the identity of the girl Tatsuki EiYun.

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I… should be the one to apologise…”

EiYun had recovered enough to speak normally.

It was morning when EiYun suffered a panic attack. Now came the evening, they were about to head out to visit the cemetery. TaeHyun couldn’t get rid of this feeling of guilt.

He shouldn’t have forced the gun upon her.

“Ah, enough with the apologies, everyone makes mistakes. Are you sure you want to join us today, Eun-chan? I could always bring you there some other day.”

Rize asked.

“No… I can’t run away from it.”

EiYun said, clenching her fists.

“Can’t run away from it huh? I suppose that makes sense.”

Run away from what? Had it to do with why she freaked out in the morning? TaeHyun was curious.

“Let’s go.”

With his words as the trigger, they left for the monastery.

-☆▫.-▫.｡.:* ▫⌎.☆\*: .｡ ▫.-

The monastery that takes care of the cemetery was busy. The main hall was packed with people, prayers and hymns echoed throughout.

“It’s not as busy as the ones I used to go to.”

“Really? Then I guess the scale is different. Here at New Hangul, congregational services are held the whole month, so people have some leeway with when they want to pay a visit. Many soldiers from the First Stratum take their leaves around this time.”

“I see…”

EunHa nodded to Rize’s explanation. No wonder there were so many military personnel here.

“Where off to first?”

“Well, Eun-chan here needs to visit a certain person. But with the graveyard so big, I don’t know if we’ll ever find it.”

“A certain person… what’s the name?”

“Ayumi. Wang Ayumi.”

“Wang Ayumi? Alright, got it.”

TaeHyun supposed that he shouldn’t question too much about their past.

“Um, a little suggestion, how about we buy flowers? They’re selling some there.”

Nana pointed out.

“What do you think, Eun-chan?”

“Ayumi had always liked beautiful things.”

“Then it’s a steal! Let’s go!”

◜\⌝▫◆▫.

How long had it been since they searched? Gravestone after gravestone. Nameplate after nameplate. With over a thousand… it would require a fortune of luck to locate the right one.

“Not here either…”

“Then let’s search up there.”

“But I’ve covered that spot already.”

“Really?”

They thought to split up initially. But upon further discussion, if they did that then everyone wouldn’t be able to find each other.

“Hey! It’s Monkey Face!”

Rize shouted.

The guy, Ng HouZi, turned around.

“What… you damned wretch…”

““Sergeant Ng!””

On the contrary, TaeHyun and Nana saluted him with a firm stance

“So, what brings you here?”

“Do I need to tell you something so obvious?”

“Nope.”

“That’s not funny.”

“Monkey Face, I have a question.”

“Um Rize-sama… I think it’s much better if you don’t call Sergeant Ng like that?”

“Do you know where Major’s late family’s tombstone is located?”

““Huh??””

Nana and TaeHyun creased their brows.

“And why in the hell do you need to know that?”

Sergeant Ng bent down, looking at Rize demeaningly with both hands on his waist.

“Because we have flowers to give them.”

“Eh…”

Rize pointed at EiYun who held the two bouquets of white lilies.

Never in their wildest dreams would they have guessed that the person EiYun was trying to find was to find Major Shen’s family grave.

“Tsk. You’re the worst.”

He scratched his head and then pointed off in the direction of the hill. There was no way he could deny someone from paying respect to his superior’s family.

“It’s somewhere there. Just don’t do anything stupid.”

“Thank you Sergeant!”

Rize said with a comical salute. It only served to infuriate him further.

In any case…

“But I was sure I checked this place? M-Maybe I overlooked it… I’m sorry.”

Nana apologised.

“It’s fine. As long as we find it—oh. Here.”

TaeHyun called.

“We’ve found it, Eun-chan.”

“…”

Before them the plaque of names carved in stone, and two of which were made clear. Wang KeZhi and… Wang Ayumi.

“So the major had two children… I didn’t know that.”

Nana muttered.

“Yeah…”

TaeHyun wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

Rize placed her hands on EunHa’s shoulders.

“You can finally tell them what you’ve always wanted to. Go on.”

EunHa tightened her grip on the flowers.

“Can… I ask that everyone leave…?”

“Huh?”

“I want to… do this alone.”

She said, a harrowing breath.

“…Please.”

.- ▫☆\*: .｡ _ ▫.｡.:*☆▫.-⌎

⁛ Origin Year 138, 23rd of Yǔ.

Ayumi. You know? The cemetery was a place built for the fallen soldiers. Each major city had one. And it just happened that New Hangul was the place where you were buried.

I never got the chance to visit you. I never thought you would end up one of them.

Because I was scared. Too scared to face you.

But… it wasn’t like I could keep hiding from you forever. I said before that people die every day, and that you weren’t suited as a soldier.

I promised that I would help you get out of the military… and help you achieve your dreams but… I couldn’t do it. I still regret it after so many years.

Yes, I know it’s stupid to dramatise this situation. To think that just because of you, I’m struggling.

Perhaps I need to be more like Hyeon-ssi.

To face it.

And feel it all.

Ayumi. I know it’s a day early but… I didn’t want to wait another day with this gnawing feeling. Humans… have emotions for a reason.

Because mom taught me that in a world where emotions are a burden to others… that same burden that tears us apart, is also the same burden that unites us all. There really is no such thing as being rational. It’s just a made-up scheme to glorify apathy and indifference.

Emotions…

A person like me, why did I ever think emotions were unnecessary? Having suppressed my emotions… just look at the broken state I’m in now?

Ayumi.

“I’m sorry.”

The wind blew as petals scattered. Grass blades formed waves on the sea-like meadow.

“But thank you.”

Sergeant Wang KeZhi. Cadet Wang Ayumi.

For this life. Sincerely…

What would you think of me if I told you I almost gave up on life? I’m sure you’d hate it. Right?

I arranged the bouquet of flowers before their grave. Stood up, and prayed.

Amidst the thousands of small graves erected upon this vast plateau, evening clouds painted the land red.

God. Bless their souls up in the heavens. And help me.

Grant me the courage… the will… to live a life worthy of their death. Worthy of everyone’s death.

Please… please.

I opened my eyes.

And bit my lips.

Cry.

I allow you to cry, EunHa.

If you have any tears left for them, let it all out here, before you move on.

Drip. Drip.

“I think I know now…”

Bringing my hands up to my eyes.

“…why people have to mourn.”

And wiped my tears.

“Alright.”

I slapped my cheeks twice, like a sandwich. My heart felt light now that I’ve said my prayers.

“I can do this.”

I dedicate my life to you Ayumi, and your brother Sergeant Wang KeZhi.

I will do my best not to disappoint. To live my life.

I turned around, planning to rejoin Rize-chan and the rest at the monastery.

“To think someone would mourn for my family.”

To the deep, solemn voice. I froze. Strands of hair the shade of midnight fluttered. I caught a glimpse of ominous purple.

“This is the first time anyone has sent flowers to them besides myself.”

Major Wang GohJi walked right past me and stood before the graves of her two children—leaving three purple roses. One for each of them. Was the third meant for her husband? I didn’t notice.

“KeZhi, Ayumi. That girl is finally dead.”

She knelt down and kissed the small tombstones one at a time.

“You may rest in peace now my poor children.”

Stroking the third, smaller gravestone situated behind the two in the front.

“And dear husband, don’t worry. The rest will follow soon.”

Those deserters. I will make sure they pay, every last one of them.

My breath choked in between my throat. She finally stood up after an eternity.

“Your prayers looked rather moving in my eyes.”

She said. I held my breath.

“Tell me.”

With a pressure that riveted me in place. Looking right at me.

“Who exactly are you?”