2.41. THE CELEBRITY’S LOVER

<Pu’er Greenwood>

[“What do you plan to do this holiday?”]

Sprawled on the bed, I looked up at the screen.

“I don’t know. Play a lot of games before school starts.”

[“We have an entire month. It’s funny how we think about the holidays when we’re in class. But when it’s the holidays, we want to go back to school. I’m bored already, there’s nothing to do at home nyan.”]

I replied with a meek smile.

I’m sorry my life isn’t as nice as yours Brunette. Staying at home is crazy scary.

[“Do you know, there's a rumor going around that next year, we’re going to have new transfer students? I don’t know which class they’ll end up in. Are you going to go for art classes, or science classes? I think the transfer students are definitely going to end up in science classes.”]

“Definitely science.”

“Boo-hoo. Then you’ll definitely have no problems applying. I don’t know about myself though. I hope we end up in the same class. Maybe in the same class as the transfer students. That would be nice wouldn’t it? If only I had better grades..” Xe mulled.

“Where did you get the news about the new students anyways? Was it in the group chat?”

“ShareWiw. Hold on, let me send you his profile.”

Ding. A side panel was created, showing me posts from a person by the name Stuart Asgard. Who is this guy? His follower count is.. three million?!

[“You see this post here, it’s got the Saint High logo. And down in the description, you see that he said, ‘see you soon’. A celebrity is coming to our school, kyaa! Don’t you think it’s a dream come true?!”]

“What kind of celebrity..”

His profile had lots and lots of photos of himself. Anyone could tell that he’s a modeler from a single glance. Posing for apparels, acting as an ambassador for certain brands or coming on for talk-show interviews.

[“He looks cool right?!”]

I.. will have to agree with Brunette that.. this person, Stuart, does.. have a really cool looking face..

Really? He’s going to join our school?

[“If you follow his content, you’ll see that he’s been talking about finding love as of late. Oh man, what if he came to find a life partner in Saint High?”]

For a moment I felt the pain rise to the surface of my heart, my fingers trembled.

It’s over Pu’er, stop thinking about him. Move on.

It’s over..

He doesn’t like you..

He already made it clear..

Just move on..

“So.. this person, do you know him on the surface as a fan or..”

[“Have you followed him yet?”]

“I don’t think I want to.”

I’m not into these kinds of cheesy celebrity stuff.

I don’t like the drama and controversy surrounding these sorts of people.

“I won't force you. Can’t wait for next year, I want to see his real face.”]

“Right..”

[“Anyways, it’s getting late. Call you next time, chaw~”]

“See you.”

Call ended. I melted onto my bed.

Stuart Asgard.

A modeler is coming to school eh?

Hm..

He’s good looking.

But I don’t know what kind of person he is. He might have a lot of followers and all the attention in the world. But all that means nothing if he’s an egoistic manipulator.

I opened up TinyArmies.

Oh, he still hasn’t..

Stop that. He already stopped playing this game long ago.

Then.. is there a point in continuing?

Leaving the game screen, I rolled around the bed and hugged my pillow.

The pain was coming back.

I’m lonely.

I don’t know what to do.

It’s like.. my life’s aim had just disappeared.

I don’t feel like doing anything at all. I just want it to be over..

It’s alright. I’ll be fine.

Hah.. I watched a video just recently. Heartbreaks hurt the least for elves, but lasts the longest. It’s the opposite for girls where heartbreak hurts the most but lasts the shortest. Boys are in the middle.

“Was he lying?”

So what if there was a reason for his actions?

Maybe to protect me from something?

No.. stop trying to delude yourself.

It’s over. So just stop.

“Ugh.. it’s hurts..”

Elves have it hard.

[“Pu’er, are you alright?”]

A message from aei.

[“I’m alright aei. Anything?”]

[“I want to ask if you want to join us to the hotspring?”]

Mom and aei already know that I’ve broken up with him. Somehow, they were being really considerate and kind this past week. No arguments had broken out.

It would’ve been such a happy period if not for this damn heartache.

[“Hot spring? When?”]

[“Right now.”]

What time is it? 5 o’clock?

[“After that we have dinner?”]

[“Yes. We can take away food for you if you like.”]

[“I’m coming down, thank you.”]

I rose from the bed. A strand of hair fell in front. I blew it up.

Straightening my clothes, I made my way to the living room.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine..”

“Let’s go to the hotspring to cheer you up alright? Anywhere you want to eat after this?”

“I don’t know..”

“We’ll give hir some time to decide, Cynthia.”

“Alright. Get ready, we’re going to leave soon.”

“Un.”

I went to wash up my face before heading out together with aei and mom.

We took the train down to Onzzen. That was the name of the place, located quite far out of the city. The trip took around 30 minutes. I didn’t meet any angels or demons along the way.

Making our way out of the transit and into the outskirts, the evening glow of the sky lit the world in orange. There were few moving cars around these parts. Strolling through the empty parking space, we made it to the Onzzen’s front counter. There, aei paid for the keys, a locker and access to the mixed bath.

After taking a shower to clean our body, we wrapped ourselves with a white towel. OptAR is waterproof, but mom told me to remove it because the heat of the water might damage it.

I dipped into the water. First the toes to feel the temperature, before soaking into it. The towel became heavy after absorbing all that water.

Ah.. so nice. To enjoy a warm bath during winter.

I missed the days when my father was still here..

My aei and mom came in next.

It’s weird. Their miasma gauges were moderate for both superficial and deep. So why are they acting so kind?

Maybe I was wrong about what the miasma gauge actually measured?

“It’s been a long time since we last came here.”

“Nice isn’t it? We should come here again next time.”

“Ah, Pu’er stay close. Just in case.”

Because we weren’t the only ones using the place, safety was something of concern. I made my way over to mom’s side.

My mom and aei began talking about their work. How this person didn’t do their part right, or how that person is always not on schedule..

I don’t like it whenever they talk about this. But I bore with it because I had nowhere else I could go.

If they were working in such a toxic environment, why don’t they just quit? I don’t understand.

“Lil.. oh right.”

I wasn’t wearing my glasses.

I’ve grown into the habit of using it, not having it feels really funny.

So this is how the real world looks and feels like without technology.

It’s.. so plain.

I closed my eyes, feeling the drowsiness slowly take me away.

“Pu’er, don’t sleep.”

“O-Oh..”

“It’s really quiet here. Is it because today’s a Monday?”

“Maybe. At this sort of time, most people are having dinner.”

“Right, right.”

“Pu’er, have you thought of what you want to eat for dinner?”

“How about the grill bar?”

“You want to eat there again?”

“Then we’ll go after this.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

“A little.”

“Heartbreak doesn’t settle in a day.”

“I’m just asking..”

After soaking for about an hour, we exited the hot spring and went to that restaurant with the grill stove in the middle.

We ordered the usual.

As the food came, served by the robot, I was brought back to the last time when aei, mom and I talked about him.

Puppy love.

They were right. It won’t be successful. It would be better for me to focus on myself than to find a boyfriend at this sort of age..

Why did I like him?

I looked at my parents who were joyfully talking to each other..

Ah.

That’s why.

It’s because I..

I wanted love.

Now I’m getting love.

But once this is over, things’ll return to the past. Aei and mom arguing all the time, disorder in the house, getting scolded for no good reason..

What did I do wrong?

I’m an angel aren’t I? So maybe that’s my role? To stop the conflict?

But how? If doing what they tell me won’t resolve the problem then..

“Pu’er!”

“Eh?”

The piece of bacon dropped on my clothes.

“What did I tell you? Focus when you eat!”

I picked up the piping hot bacon and tossed it on my plate. Now there’s a stain on my shirt. I used the tissue to wipe it.

“Here, use this.”

“Thank you.”

Mom offered me a wet wipe instead.

The grease became more diluted, spreading over a larger area of my shirt.

“Looks like I’ll have to start the washing machine tonight.”

“Be careful with your food Pu’er.”

I nodded meekly.

That’s why.

I wanted proof that a family where people don’t argue with each other exists. I want someone to be concerned about me, to care about me, without nagging me on what I should or shouldn’t do. Someone who doesn’t call me out on every little thing.

Am I wrong?

Is there no such thing as a happy family?

Maybe it was a good idea that he broke up with me. Maybe we would’ve ended up just like my parents.

Not to mention, Avner grew up in a similar family to mine so chances are that..

The pain in my heart lightened up a little.

2.42.

We came back home, the lights turned on per command.

“Go put your clothes to wash.”

“Okay.”

I went to take another shower, throwing the dirtied shirt into the clothes bin.

After that I went upstairs, to my room to change into my night clothes. I came back down to return the towel..

“Pu’er!! How many times do I have to tell you?! Check to make sure the door is locked if you’re the last person!! It’s not that I don't trust you, but your actions make me lose trust in you.”

“U-Uh..”

I walked over timidly and locked the door– why couldn’t mom have just locked it? She’s standing right next to it. Did she have to yell at me?

“I was the last one,” aei said, in an irked tone, “Sorry Pu’er..”

I was silent. Repressing the anger in my heart. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Blaming me for something I didn’t do.

And I could feel it. It was coming back.

The cycle was repeating itself once again.

Mom just stormed off to the bathroom.

You could hear the rough handling of the washing machine.

Aei got up from hirs seat and gave chase.

“What?!”

“Why are you so angry? What did Pu’er ever do to you?”

“I cannot be angry? Is that what you're saying? There’s so much work to do, why do you have to wait for me to do it all the time?”

“If you don’t want to do it then just don’t do the work! Have I never done any work? I do the clothes all the time!”

I trembled.. still standing frozen in front of the door.

“Shout some more! Shout! Shout! Shout! You’re very good at making me sound like the bad guy!”

“Get out!”

“Why? I'm doing my work midway. You want to use this chance to claim that I don’t do housework all the time?”

Shaky steps, one at a time, tears in my eyes, I made my way to the stairs.

“Did I ever say that? DID I EVER SAY THAT?!”

The shouting continued.

I reached my room.

I locked the door behind me.

I leaned against the wall.

Why?

Why do they always argue?

Did I do anything wrong?

Should I have not been born?

Maybe if I die.. then everything will be resolved?

Maybe if I die.. then they’ll realize their mistake?

Right. If I die then I wouldn’t need to suffer like this.

My heart hurts. Sinking.

Everything feels cold. Numb.

Queasy. Dizzy. I could barely breathe.

Hahaha..

What kind of shitty family is this..

I want peace.

I only wanted peace.

They told me that you shouldn’t talk bad about someone.

They told me that I don’t listen to them.

They told me that I’m irresponsible.

They told me that I’m a nuisance– a burden–

Ah–

So this is why people think of suicide.

===

[“Sir, if you had to one thing, what do you attribute your success to?”]

[“My success? I believe there is no one reason to success. For one, it isn’t like hitting a jackpot. Instead, it’s the accumulation of hard work day over day, year over year. Though, if I were to say what one of the critical ingredients is that allowed me to stand where I am now, it would be grit. And for that, I have my parents to thank. The way they brought me up had really impacted the way I act and think.”]

[“Could you elaborate further?”]

[“As some may know, my two late parents, passed away just last year due to an accident.”]

“Yeah.. so what? You had a good life.”

[“I’m grateful for what they’ve done, but I’m also ashamed to admit that I prefer my life now that they are no longer here.”]

[“Why is that?”]

[“You see, as a child, my parents didn’t support me in my dreams. Them mocking me was my fuel. There was one previous question on how I managed to find the motivation to push through all the challenges and climb the mountain of pain? This is the other reason. I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted revenge. As the adage goes, the greatest revenge is massive success. Though indirectly, my parents taught me what it means to persevere. This sort of grit and determination can only be forged when you have people that go against you. Some people think that not having your parent’s support is a disadvantage. The way I see it, it’s a chance to forge your will.”]

…

[“Of course, I’m not saying that being in a warm family is a bad thing. Rather, take advantage of your situation. Your adversity can become your strength. To those children out there feeling stuck or depressed, let me tell you this. There is light at the end of the tunnel, contrary to what you may think. You don’t know that because you haven’t lived. Believe me when I say this. It’s only when you fight, that you’ll eventually find your true worth.”]

I paused the video.

He had good parents?

Who was I joking.. there’s no such thing.

Stuart Asgard.

No.

Most people.

No one is without problems in their lives.

Fight.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

What light exactly? It’s not like I can save my family. I only see darkness.

I was surprised that he admitted to enjoying a life without his parents. All those threats my parents told me, saying how bad life the outside world is.. I’m beginning to doubt their claims.

Problems are what bring rise to the strong.

I resumed the interview.

[“There are many questions coming in. Most are wondering what kind of person your parents were. You have many young fans don’t you?”]

[“My parents? They were good people with good intentions. I don’t think my parents were different from any other. Everyone is human. Sometimes I don’t see things the way they do, I still get scolded when I do something wrong. Worry about yourself more than you do about your parents. I find that young people make the mistake of trying to please other people. Don’t live for them, live for you. Trust me, they’ll be proud of it. They may not show it now, but when you achieve your dreams, they’ll definitely be delighted. And even if the contrary is true, at least you come out a winner.”]

Worry about myself. Stop trying to please my parents.

Easy for you to say. If I don’t follow what they say I’ll be scolded for sure.

[“It’s important that each person follows themselves. You might not become the next model like I am, but that doesn’t mean you won’t become successful in some other field where you excel. Each person is different. Look within yourself, find your strengths and double down on it. Don’t listen to your family or friends. Life is too precious spent on achieving other people’s wishes.”]

[“Yes, I will have to agree with you, Stuart. For the young ones out there, it’s very important they pursue something that best suits them. Don’t try to copy Stuart just because he’s a model yeah? May he inspire you, but ultimately, do it for yourself. Next question, oh, this one is important. The viral news. Why did you decide to go back to school? You’ve completed a few years of formal education, then decided to quit for your career today. Now that you’ve reached this level of success, is there any need to go back?”]

[“There is no need to.”]

[“Oh? So why?”]

[“That’s simple. Because I want to spend more time with her.”]

Hm? Brunette was right. He’s going to Saint High so that he can spend time with his girlfriend. Eh? He has a girlfriend?

[“Okay.. this might be a sensitive question, your fans are dying to know who that person is. We don’t want to endanger your privacy, and risk her safety, so maybe you could give a little hint about the kind of person she is?”]

[“Well.. how should I put it. The first time I met her, I thought she was just your average normal girl. She just dropped by one of the studios I was having a photoshoot at one day and talked with one of the directors. I was curious so I approached them. I learnt that she’s a writer, won’t spoil what series she’s writing, but she’s a pro at her work, I’ll at least say that much. From then on, we’d bump into each other during gatherings a couple times and have a chat. For someone her age, you’d be surprised by her composure. It’s as if you’re talking to a sage who had lived numerous lives. As beautiful of a person she is, it’s her knowledge, wisdom and poise that I find attractive.”]

[“That’s wonderful to hear. Ab..]

The snippet ends there.

I pulled up the messaging window.

[“Brunette, where’s the full interview?”]

[“It was taken down.”]

[“Seriously?”]

No wonder he’s got so many followers.

A thorn among the roses..

Had I ever come across a girl in school like that? I don’t think I’ve actually ever really gone to meet many of the juniors. I have no idea. He also said that she’s a writer.

Bleh.

It’s pointless to think about it.

I’ll know who it is by next year.

Stuart Asgard, I think I’m going to follow your ShareWiw account. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with this pitiful me.

===

dotturndot: I’m an avid eater of self-help content (that’s why you’re seeing these ‘annoying motivational talk rants’ stuff by Stuart). That said, the danger of digging into self help is that you can stumble upon some ineffective advice. Like.. vision boarding and how to manifest your dreams and stuff…

Another example of bad self help advice is this thing I’m typing here. I’m not qualified to talk about it even though I’m currently doing so. Many people can misunderstand my advice for something else. That’s the problem with perspective you see. So don’t take my word for it.

That asides.. Shit! Stuart already found N.. ufph?!

{Dotturndot has been kicked from the server}

{Charge of offense: giving spoilers}