Episode 7: Our Most Important
<Aria Ocean>
Cherry blossoms created a curtain of drifting petals.
Like snow, each petal descended gently.
Touching the ground, the beauty it was once admired for comes to an end.
Lost was its transient moment of marvel. Left there in the dirt, its existence was left to wither and die.
They say there is beauty in decay.
But I say, there is decay in beauty.
It was here I met her again.
Among the cherry blossoms.
A strong breeze blew, the petals whirled into a storm. I held down my long dark red hair which curled in the wind.
A person so carefree in existence.
“Elliot—”
My words reached her ears.
She turned to me.
“Aria.”
Among the blooming cherry blossoms.
She ran towards me.
And made a mess of my hair.
“E-Elliot?! What are you doing?!”
“It’s been so long, I miss you!”
And laughed.
So bright.
My star in the night.
I knew right that instant.
It’s because decay exists that… something precious becomes all the more beautiful.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
“You’re here already.”
“Yes, I’m here.”
I turned around and saw Elliot.
Not the female one, but the male one. The one I love, the one I adore.
“Elliot, sorry.”
The wind blew, and felt the sand in between my toes. The hem of my dress fluttered as a wave crashed in the background. The world was dark, moonlight scintillating off the wet, sandy floor.
“Me too.”
He said, lowering his head.
“I love you. Elliot.”
I saw his fist tighten.
“But.”
“But?”
“I love her even more.”
Not as a lover, but as a friend.
The pain… was synonymous. What makes something more precious than another, what makes protecting one over the other…
“I’m sorry I can’t…”
I can’t.
“Aria, thank you.”
He said.
I raised my head at his unexpected response. Tears running down my cheeks.
“I also… feel exactly the same but…”
I love you.
But…
“…I can’t.”
I found myself smiling. A name similar to his own.
I should’ve expected this… from that day I asked the other Elliot if she liked me… her answer was the exact same as his. Really now… what a sore loser I am.
Be selfish, be a tyrant. Fight… not in merely what you believe in, but that of what you wish to believe. Even if what I believe in is… wrong by other people’s standards. It is ultimately… what I believe in.
That ‘love’ comes in many forms.
And the romantic love most people dare speak of… buries the other forms of love that are just as precious.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
<Elliot Amaryllis (♂)>
I recalled that night two weeks ago.
The night Aria and I mutually rejected each other. It was the most ridiculous thing ever.
How in the world did we end up imploding on each other huh? I sure didn’t have an answer to that. In the end, our relationship returned to that of friends.
And while it won’t be easy to fix the heartbreak we feel for each other, I think it was for the best.
Blare! Blare! Blare!
We hit the alarm at the same time.
And got up at the same time.
““Good morning.””
And said good morning at the same time.
“Ugh.”
“Haah…”
In sync, but at least with slightly different sighs.
““Not enough sleep…””
We were like zombies during holiday mornings. I flopped back down onto my futon.
“Fucking get up.”
She kicked my back.
“Damn you… why can’t you go shower first…”
Didn’t she say she needed more sleep?
“You… fucking pervert.”
“What? What did I do?”
“N-Nothing!”
She loudly rummaged for her clothes and got out of the room.
Huh…
She was looking down there. I wasn’t having morning wood today. How creative her mind was to assume a slightly bulging blanket shows inside her mind as such indecency.
“You pervert…”
I muttered.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
““Morning mom, dad…””
““Morning Jasper.””
““Morning elder sister Luna.””
We greeted our family in unison, and took our seats around the breakfast table respectively. Both of us had our heads dropping, like a chicken with a broken neck.
We slept a proper 7 hours, so why were we still so sleepy today?
“Good morning to you two.”
Jasper greeted us while chewing on toast.
“U-Ugh… w-why in the world are you two still so in sync?”
Elder sister Luna was forever wary. Did we do anything to her in the past to make her like this? Elliot ♀ and I have yet to identify the source of her paranoia.
“Ahem. We’re going to watch the fireworks today.”
““Ah?””
Elliot ♀ and I tilted our heads at dad’s announcement.
“So we’re going later to the tailor to try on some traditional clothes.”
He added, our minds hadn’t properly caught on.
“Nevermind. Enjoy breakfast first, you’ll understand once you sober up a little.”
And sobered up we did.
“So, how is the taste dear?”
Mom leaned in towards dad and asked with a sweet smile.
“It’s delicious.”
“Fufu. Of course it is.”
It’s got my love in it after all…
Chew. Chew.
With hollow eyes, we watched our parent’s ‘intimate’ performance.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
“Here?”
“Yup.”
Dad brought us to the tailor.
Apparently what he meant during breakfast was that he wanted us to all wear traditional clothes to attend the summer festival today.
This place was recommended by a friend of his. Located in an ancient china-styled neighbourhood with some pretty classy stores that sell soju and high-end precious stones, we entered one of the boutique shops.
The first person that came to greet us at the entrance…
“Welcome.”
Was…
“No way…”
“Oh the works of fate, we meet again.”
Someone tell me I’m seeing things?
It can’t be, right? RIGHT?!
“Ms. Reliana! You work here too?”
Elliot ♀ who didn’t know the hell I suffered back then approached her with happy strides.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
Various designs were worn by the mannequins.
The choice between a kimono, a hanbok, or hanfu. All of which looked pleasing to the eye. These were the choices we had to wear later in the evening.
The problem here is that I only see dresses…
Like, the fuck? I thought this demoness Reliana works at the shady maid shop. How is she here at this high-end boutique too?
“The selection for clothes you may browse from this aisle.”
The demoness was wearing a beautiful red kimono today. It was wrapped tight around her body, the curves of her body seen.
“This one?”
Elder sister Luna picked out a kimono with a white base decorated with various flowers.
“What sizes are available?”
“For clothes like these, we only have one size for adults. Ones for children require special booking.”
She explained.
“Oh yes. Before I forget, I believe the guys also require something to wear?”
The demoness turned to us.
“Oh, do you have clothes for guys? I was planning to borrow it from another place but if you have, could we have a look?”
Dad was excited. Mom… she was wary of the demoness. She refused to part from dad.
“Honey…?”
“Dear, be careful of this girl.”
“I-I understand.”
“May you come this way?”
The main section had all sorts of traditional clothes for females. Further down the right-hand corner, the demoness revealed a section for males.
Oh, so this is where it was. Kimono, hanfu, and hanbok.
“Wow…”
Jasper was mesmerised by the clothes on the mannequins. I had to rub my eyes.
I didn’t know there were also male versions of hanfu and hanbok. I’ve always thought those were meant for girls but… the male version of these clothes were just as good-looking.
Especially the hanfu.
I thought I’d get the kimono, but now I’m kind of torn between that and the chinese hanfu.
“May I suggest this?”
The demoness chose a dark blue coat and draped it around my shoulder.
Dad and mom took some distance and sized me up. They both nodded in approval. I looked at myself in the mirror.
Even without the inner tunic, the long coat made for quite the impact on my appearance.
“Eye-catching, don’t you think?”
The demoness whispered in my ear.
“I think it suits you.”
In my silence, Elliot ♀ said.
“Really?”
“Yup. How about you get this and I get a kimono? It’d be something different at least.”
“I mean, I’m alright with it. Mom, dad?”
“Could we have a look at the full design?”
Fortunately, no mishaps happened. The boys’ chastity was protected, and the girls were satisfied.
And certainly no special promo tickets this time around.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
The time soon came evening.
“What do you think?”
“Pretty I guess.”
“What a way to compliment your own sister.”
Luna and Jasper were grumbling with each other in the living room.
Luna decided on a pale pink hanbok with the jeogori and chima resembling that of light cherry petals. The goreum with a darker pink shade added an accent to the design.
Jasper got himself a male kimono. Greyish blue, with simple modern geometric patterns and white obi. They didn’t have many options for his size, so this was the best we picked out. With that said, I thought the design fit in quite well with his dull personality.
“Ara, ara, what do you think?”
As for mom, she got a female hanfu. A dark red, slightly ominous dress with long sleeves and multilayered fabric. She resembled an empress from ancient China about to seduce dad… if anything more.
“You look lovely honey.”
Dad? He got the pale blue male hanbok with the fancy black head. He looked like a bonafide scholar. The kind you see in k-dramas that portray those ancient royalties.
“Elliot.”
“Yeah?”
“How do I look to myself?”
Elliot ♀ stretched her hands outwards to show off her kimono.
A white base with red-blue lotus blossom patterns. Her long brown hair loosely flowed down her shoulders. On her right ear was that crimson pearl earring Aria got for her.
“You look good.”
“Alright. I trust you.”
“That’s like saying you trust yourself…”
Elliot ♀ shrugged.
We headed out to the living room.
“Now what do we have here?”
Dad mused at our appearance.
“What a matching pair.”
Mom’s eyes curled in delight.
“Let’s take a commemorative photo!”
Elder sister Luna took her phone out.
We all posed in front of the coffee table and—snap!
“The whole world will see just how weird living with one-double sibling is.”
She muttered while posting the image on her personal social media.
“Everyone ready?”
Dad asked.
“Yup.”
“Ready.”
“Ready as we’ll ever be.”
Jasper looked tired before we had even arrived. Seriously, what a snob.
“Wait!”
Luna yelped out, staring intently at her phone.
“My boyfriend just said he can come!”
She exclaimed excitedly.
“Oh my. So it’s finally time we meet him eh?”
Mom’s voice… sounded rather sinister.
“E-Eh uh…”
Elder sister Luna looked like a shot pigeon. Yeah, you shouldn’t have said that.
My blessings to you, whoever it is that crushed on my sister. Good luck getting through mom.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
It was the night of the summer festival.
A festive bazaar with red lanterns, golden lights, paper cranes, tied straw rope, and decorative torii gates. It was a world where modern meets tradition, a mix of people wearing modern clothes that that of old-oriental times.
“Tacos! Mexican tacos! Buy two and you get one free!”
At the entrance, we were greeted by an out-of-place food truck selling Mexican delights.
He’s fucking destroying the ambience.
“Can someone call the police?”
“I was thinking the same…”
Elliot ♀ and I joked.
But seriously, the taco should make way for cultural appropriation. Our family ignored the food truck and walked towards the main entrance.
It was early evening, twilight graced the sky. The paved streets were filled with food stalls selling various Asian delicacies. From traditional steamed meat buns to nori crepes.
We crossed a bright red bridge linking the small canal. There Jasper saw a food item that caught his eye, and we stopped to buy some.
Dangos. Sweet multi coloured-dangos.
“It’s mango.”
“The purple one is yam.”
“The pink is red bean.”
“How about the green?”
“It tastes like pandan?”
“Pandan? What’s that?”
“A type of fragrant leaf in the tropical regions. I’m surprised to find this here.”
Mom seems rather knowledgeable. I mean, I heard she travelled with dad a lot back in the day.
We all took a taste of that odd green paste. It kind of reminded me of the coconut ice cream I had back at the beach.
Elliot ♀ took out her phone and scrolled the messages.
“Oh, Ellis could make it.”
She said.
“Really?”
“With Oliver and Willow. They’re at the game stall section right now. Look.”
Elliot ♀ showed me Ellis’ post. They happened to be there just a minute ago.
“Then should we ask mom and dad for permission?”
“We should.”
“Mom, dad, our friends are here, could we go with them?”
“Hm? Where?”
“Over at the game stations.”
“Dear, how about we make a round of the festival together first as a family? Then we’ll let you go with your friends.”
It was the first time we were coming here, and dad planned for this to be a family outing. To suddenly leave everyone was… kind of wrong.
““Alright.””
Mom’s suggestion made sense. I felt wronged… and guilty.
And so, together with family, we checked out the various other stalls. We had char siew meat, Korean popcorn chicken, some on-the-go sushi, and even milk tea cake.
We found the game area eventually, but Ellis, Willow and Oliver were nowhere to be seen.
“Let me show you how a pro does it.”
Elder sister Luna rolled up her sleeve and squatted down among the many basins of goldfish.
“Do you remember her ever playing this?”
I asked Elliot ♀.
“No.”
Was elder sister Luna ever a paper net master? In two strokes, she managed a goldfish into her small basin.
“Success!”
“Impressive.”
Dad was amused.
“Can I try?”
“Here.”
Luna handed Jasper the paper net.
—Tear.
Let alone touching a fish, the instant he moved the net in the water… it tore.
We looked at the hole in the middle of the hoop.
“Pitiful.”
Luna shook her head with a disappointed expression.
“Shut up. When did you get so good at this anyways? I don’t remember you ever coming here to play this?”
“I had a lot of chances with my boyfriend.”
“Oh? Back to this topic again? Come, please lead us to him. I’m now very… very curious about the kind of person he is.”
“…”
Was mom annoyed or excited to meet him? Frankly, I don’t know what to think of it anymore. I thought the dads were the ones that were possessive of their daughters, not the moms.
We walked a little more and eventually reached back to the start of where we came from.
…Why is there such a long queue at the Mexican truck? What the fuck, this ain’t Mexico.
“Alright dear, you may go catch up with your friend. Your parents have something very important to do.”
Mom patted both mine and Elliot’s ♀ back.
“We’ll reach each other by phone, if you’re done do call back okay?”
“W-Wait. My boyfriend isn’t coming.”
“Oh dear, then who do I see over there?”
Elder sister Luna froze. A man wearing formal clothes waved in our direction.
Elliot ♀ and I looked at each other. We better get out of here.
“Good luck elder sister Luna.”
“And the same to your potential partner.”
We left while leaving those parting words.
Jasper looked like he wanted to leave with us but… he shook his head and decided instead to watch the drama play out between our sister and potential brother-in-law.
Gone outside their range, Elliot ♀ and I burst out into laughter.
“She’s really going to have it out.”
“Man, would mom have done the same if you and Aria became a thing?”
“Who knows?!”
We laughed.
And continued laughing until we finally reached the place where we last saw Ellis’ most recent post.
“It’s here… right?”
“Let’s text Ellis.”
“Hold on, let’s do this.”
Elliot ♀ raised her phone and snapped us two together.
“There.”
“Wow, I didn’t know I could do a casual selfie like that”
“Me neither, but I felt like it so why not?”
“True. True.”
“There. Her location.”
Elliot ♀ raised her head and looked around.
“Find the guy with the mask performance she says… they’re there.”
“Mask performance?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
She grabbed my hand.
“Let’s go.”
I grabbed her hand back.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
Bian Lian.
Which literally means ‘change face’.
A Chinese performance where the individual wearing an Eastern costume dances with a large bright red fan. The magic here was that the performer would quickly switch masks at the wave of the fan.
It was a sleight of hand trick, the millisecond swap between various silk masks happens so fast it was literally magic to us who didn’t know any better. Sometimes the mask resembled a hollow ghost, and other times a deformed ogre.
We watched amid the crowd.
“It’s damn scary up close.”
“Scary?”
I thought of it as more spine-chilling.
“Isn’t it scary?”
“It’s creepy, that’s for sure.”
The dance was fluttery and mystical. The changing of masks from one to another, and the jerking, twitching movement part of the performance gave it a tense edge. A sense of discomfort and bewitchment I couldn’t really put into words.
“BOoo!!”
“AHH!!”
“Found you!”
“Ellis! You fucking scared me!”
“It’s good to see you after so long. You look good in a kimono and uh…”
Ellis’ words fell short when she saw me. Was she blushing? Her lips were certainly trembling though.
“…Um, and you too.”
Her eyes swam.
Ellis today was wearing a beautiful blue kimono with a cute ocean theme. Her golden hair was braided, unlike Elliot’s ♀ who was too lazy to tie her own.
“Same. You look really beautiful in the kimono.”
“It’s not a kimono! It’s a yukata!”
“How the hell would I know the difference?”
Ellis puffed her cheeks. Cute.
“Well, well. What do we have here.”
“Hello~”
Oliver and Willow arrived hand in hand. Oliver in casual clothes, Willow in a gorgeous purple kimono—or yukata? I don’t know which was which anymore. Anyways, they look like a proper couple.
And then…
“H-Hello.”
Aria.
She wasn’t wearing an oriental garment, but instead a light pink dress with a crochet cardigan.
“Hello.”
I said, a slightly forced smile on my face. It’s been a while since I saw Aria.
“Well, anyone still wanna watch that madman dance? If not, let’s not dabble here too long. It’s crowded.”
It was after Oliver’s words that I noticed besides Elliot ♀ and myself, everyone else had some kind of food item in their hands.
“Right.”
“We better get some food.”
“Have you tried the egg tarts? They’re delicious I tell you, this way—”
“W-Wait!”
Ellis quickly dragged Elliot ♀ away.
I shook my head. Those two were the same as ever. We chased after them.
“It’s been a while.”
As I trailed behind, Aria took the chance to talk to me.
“It sure has been a while.”
I said.
Aria looked a little tense. I wasn’t sure what was going through her mind right now but… hopefully, she’s alright?
“So, how is the festival?”
She asked.
“Been pretty good so far. How was it for you?”
“It’s been fun going around with Ellis, Willow and Oliver. I’m glad they invited me.”
“That’s good.”
While I may no longer text Aria good night and good morning every day, I know Elliot ♀ chats with her occasionally at least.
“Sure is.”
To get back as friends again, I think this was a good start. Our conversation was cut short there.
Elliot ♀ was made to try the egg tart.
“It’s sweet, and creamy. But I prefer the milk tea cake from earlier.”
“Cake… cake… what’s with you and cakes?!”
Ellis looked like she was having a headache.
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
“Here! Here!”
Willow brought us to the top of the hill. Cherry blossom trees around illuminated by multicoloured spotlights, a severe crowd threatening to squeeze us whole.
“What the hell… it’s so packed…”
“Further here, here—”
We went up even higher.
And higher.
“What…”
“Where the hell are they?”
And then we got lost.
““….””
Elliot ♀ and I looked at each other.
“What do we do now?”
I checked my phone. 2 minutes to the start of the firework show.
“Fucking ditch them. We need to find a good viewing spot— there!”
“Gotcha.”
We found a place off-bound between two trees that had a good view of the whole bazaar. A river cut through the field like a knife, and the strings of lanterns illuminating the streets looked like a light show of cobwebs among cobwebs.
“I’m surprised they built the festival so close to a hill like this.”
“Yeah.”
We were halfway up a hill with a temple on top so… I suppose it adds a nice backdrop for anyone that wishes to take a photo I guess?
“It’s starting.”
The first spark of light in the night sky.
Bloom—
“Wow.”
Fireworks lit up the sky like blossoming flowers.
The intertwining colour and beauty.
Then came the second and third…
“Wow…”
Our hands connected.
If there was ever such a thing as the world’s best firework show, this was it.
Patterns drawn in sparkles.
I felt her warmth.
I recalled the first time I ever saw fireworks many years ago.
A cold day alone in a hotel where I got angry over some small matter during a vacation. My family went out for dinner, leaving me by myself in that room where I cried.
Obviously, I was the one who refused to tag along with them.
Holing up in the room, feeling like shit. Until I gazed out of the window.
This mysterious sensation.
And saw the night glow.
My tears stopped.
Captivated.
Alone with myself.
“Elliot.”
‘I’ called out to me.
“What is it?”
“What were you thinking when you rejected Aria?”
What was I thinking?
Well…
Remember what you learnt from your first.
My first was Ellis.
The most important lesson I learnt there was that it wasn’t the end of the world if the person you love wasn’t meant to be.
Who is the most important person in your world, that should be your priority.
And that… who we should value most was…
Ourselves.
“I was thinking about you.”
“…”
The fireworks continued to rumble.
I peeked slightly over to her.
Her gaze lifted towards the sky.
I could see her lips moving.
Her hair fluttering.
She turned to me.
And with a smile that looked exactly like me she…
──•~❉᯽❉~•──
<Elliot Amaryllis (♀)>
Learning to love yourself is your blessing’s most important change. Do that and you’ll lead an enthralling life.
“Elliot.”
“What is it?”
Learning to learn yourself.
Yourself as in? I never really understood what the fortune teller meant. I thought I did.
“What were you thinking when you rejected Aria?”
What was he thinking? I wanted to know.
If I were him, would I have rejected Aria? Well… I probably would.
But that wasn’t what I wanted to know.
He answered with the most straight face look I had seen in any normal person.
“I was thinking about you.”
“…”
The fireworks created marks of shadow and light on his face that sparked and faded.
I turned towards the sky.
“Why…”
I whispered to myself.
The pain I felt.
Didn’t come from Aria.
If not then where else could it have come from?
Why did I cry when I knew it would be alright?
What was it that I truly wanted to ask Elliot… no.
His appearance, dishevelled brunette hair, gentle crimson eyes, which looked exactly like mine.
Except for that zit which was still on his face. Should’ve known I made the right decision.
What did I want to know about myself?
What did I want to know about how I felt about ‘myself’?
The fear that I felt knowing I would lose ‘myself’.
To be apart from what was most precious. The identity that kept me company, the identity that kept me whole.
So much I wish to know…
Was it wrong to love the person that’s most important in my life?
Was it narcissistic?
Inappropriate?
To want to know more and more about ‘me’? I know these words are taboo.
“Elliot.”
I know these words he dare not admit, not to mention myself.
“Yes?”
A curse and blessing.
Question everything that we know can be wrong in this world.
In tears.
I love you.
“Nothing. Just wanted to say thanks.”
In the end, I couldn’t say it.
I love you.
This simple three-word sentence summed up all the madness inside me.